#and now enter every relationship with an ace person expecting them to make exceptions

[alexclaain]

being asexual, an adult and still never having had sex without wanting to change it, feels fucking lonely at times. Because majority of asexuals I met with similiar experiences as mine were of the sort of "golden star asexual" or whatever and that's just bullshit and I don't want to associate with that crap.

I just feel really really lonely among other asexuals who still, in the end, have more experience than me, because in this society that marks me as the "weird one", the "childish one", because sex is just connected to adulthood and without you're immature in this worlds eyes.

Adding to that, most representation I've seen of asexuals in media has been of the sort that still has (or had) sex - and that's great for them! But I wish people like myself would be more than the weird nerd person or robot sidekick. I wish adults who choose to never have sex would be treated as adults and full fletched humans too.

[alyjojo]

New Year Reading for 2023! 🧮 - Aries

General:

10 Cups - The Sun - 10 Pentacles

Regarding: 5 Swords

There are going to be some arguments in your personal relationships. Whether it’s you or them, when one of you starts getting too condescending and sassy, the other one is quick to tell a bitch to sit down. More or less. Idk an Aries that doesn’t spar from time to time with just about everyone so, that’s normal right? 😆 It got boring, start some shit. Wherever there are any conflicts or competitive & bratty behaviors, there are also resolutions and make-ups, nothing too detrimental. In fact, you have EVERY best card here, you cannot get better than these three cards, except maybe your own attitude that could stand a readjustment at times. This 5 Swords dominates your brain, and for what? The North Node will be entering your sign midway through the year, you’ve got nothing but happiness and success here. If there have been any options or other people meddling in your life or relationship, that’s over with. Or going to be. Could be the arguments. I see nothing but happiness and success here, possible promotion, everything is looking amazing for you. Don’t shoot your own foot, eh? That’s possible 💯

Relationship:

Ace of Pentacles - 3 Cups - 2 Swords

Regarding: Ace of Swords

Your person is as snippy and defensive as you are it seems, from both of these areas so far. You or your person, not sure which, thinks the other is maybe too controlling over money. OR, they only go out of their way to do romantic things for the other person, when they fkd up. 5 Swords again, arguments, saying mean things, insults, it’s no good, it shouldn’t be here. If it’s you, they’re teaching you a lesson in this and could be putting you in your place. Or that’s switched. One person is the aggressor, and then they’re sorry, gotta do something sweet…though maybe that’s the only time they’re sweet. The person on the receiving end of all of this is like piss off, grow up, try harder. It’s Justice, a fair response to some crap behavior, and whoever is this second person has no clue how to handle the other moving forward. Like they are done, done, no roses are gonna fix it this time… Be very careful with what you say, and expect retaliation too, because people don’t just forget. Also could be switched. Your main energy shows it’s possible to fix, but it’s definitely gonna take some work on both sides.

Singles:

Justice - Page of Swords - Page of Wands

Regarding: The Moon

I got two stories, one is carrying on from this main drama where these two people are having drama in a relationship. The other is actual singles. Both stories are possibly getting back with an ex, the difference is, whether the ex is the person you’re already with now, or not. If you are with someone and recently split or something happens where you might, it’s going to cause you some major mental anxiety and upset. The energy here is like groveling, whoever messed up wants to come back, apologies are here, healing is here, flat on coming back to a commitment is here, whatever is going on, no, it’s not over 💯 For actual singles, same energy if you’ve got a lingering ex. Some of you are the lingering ex. Eventually you’ll talk to this person and probably end up getting back together, maybe even moving in together with 4 Wands. There is a lot of confusion and fear regarding these things, and it all seems to be for no reason. Well…at the end of the day. You’re coming back together with a better sense of what you want, what that takes, and what to do moving forward, which is very positive ❤️ If you decide not to reunite, it’s possible that getting some closure helps you figure out what you want next, karmic connections can be like that. Arrows that point the right way.

Career:

The Star - 9 Wands - 10 Wands

Regarding: Queen of Wands

Very short and to the point, I like it. You’re waiting for a dream to come true, something you can celebrate, some kind of good news. It’s not going to happen immediately. In fact, it’s not going to happen until you completely give up & consider whatever this is a waste of your time and energy. You’re going to feel wounded, hurt, like you just can’t take it anymore - before it gets better. BUT, it will get better 💯 A hell of a lot better, and probably very quickly with your oracles here. 9 & 10 Wands show natural progression, and the need to persevere, don’t actually give up. This could be a test of some sort, and you’re going to pass. Once 10 Wands hits you, you’re at the end of your rope, you can’t stand it any more, and then the burden is removed from your shoulders entirely, it’s done. The Sun & 10 Pentacles follow, which is amazing energy, it mirrors the general portion of your reading. There is possible promotion on all sides of this issue. If the first part of the year is kinda shaky for you, the last part should be something to celebrate. Everything starts kinda rough and ends up better than even you could have imagined, so hang in there! Don’t give up 🌹

Oracle: 18 It’s All Good 😌

Every experience you have in your lifetime has the potential to be a teaching tool. By remembering and embracing this idea, the situations you encounter become less fraught with unneeded emotion and drama. By not attaching labels or expectations for people and situations, you allow the pure divine energy to flow unimpeded. While you have little control over what happens to you at times, you always have control over how you react. Do you react on an impulse? Strike out at others when you feel hurt? Do you crawl into your safe place when the world seems mean and hurtful? Face this challenge in your life head on. Be thankful for the opportunity to experience whatever it is that is happening. Set yourself a goal of learning from every situation in your life. Find that silver lining. It’s there.

Animal Totem: Cheetah 🐆

“Get clear on your intention, stay focused, and move quickly to achieve your goal.”

Stop deluding yourself by thinking there isn’t enough time, there are too many other things to do, or you’re not up to the mission that’s calling you to action. These and many other beliefs are delay tactics that keep you from accomplishing what you’re here to do. It’s much too easy to play it safe by staying caught up in the mundane dramas of life rather than honoring Spirit’s purpose for you by making a run for it.

The first step is to write out your intention as clearly as possible. Keep it nearby and create an appropriate affirmation that you can repeat several times over the course of a day - one that states your intention as if it has already occurred. Then write out a sequence of action steps that will move you toward your ultimate goal. Don’t be shy or hesitant to think big - bigger than you’ve previously allowed yourself. Once you’ve set the wheels in motion by doing these steps, it’s time to move - not in some frenetic, hurried way, but steady and purposeful, designing much of your activity to support what you need to do. In all of this movement, once you’ve successfully achieved a significant piece, take a breather and moon back on how far you’ve come. Give yourself a pat on the back with each step that’s accomplished as a way of acknowledging your progress. Go for it!

Major Astrological Dates & Changes in 2023, for Aries Suns/Ascendants:

March is a huge month for astrological shifts.

March 7 - Saturn enters Pisces, and the mutable signs become front & center for Saturn’s lessons of discipline & maturity, especially you ❤️. Yours being in the 12th House involves lessons surrounding your inner world, hidden matters, triggers, secrets, enemies and others working against you, mental health & spirituality. For the next two and half years or so, you will become more disciplined and mature in regards to your own unconscious mind and it’s reactions to the world around you, as well as any deep-seated trauma or pain that needs reviewing, sorting, accepting - consciously. If this is something that’s difficult for you, Saturn’s lessons may be more painful, but always beneficial. Saturn teaches its lessons whether you like it or not. You may find yourself more closed off from the public than usual, more contemplative and quiet, there are likely to be many situations that trigger deep thought in you, even if you’d much rather not. Saturn brings blessings along with his teachings. Behaviors of yours that are acted upon unconsciously, destructive habits, negative self talk, what you bury deep and refuse to deal with, all will be dug up for review by Saturn, unpacked via the situations and people in your life - so that necessary changes are made. It’s likely to be very uncomfortable, especially being Aries, these sorts of emotions are not where you’re most comfortable. If you have been through serious traumas, counseling could be very beneficial for you during this time, as could journaling, and other healthy ways of expressing pent up emotion. What’s unconscious will become conscious, so that you’re ready to make serious changes when Saturn enters your sign in a couple of years.

March 23 - For the last 20 or so years, Pluto has been in your 10th House of Career & Public Reputation. You’ve gone through complete transformations regarding your career, some probably painful experiences, as has the entire world in realizing the abuse of corporate leaders, politicians, and businesses over the power of the people. Capricorn things. These things will begin to be destroyed/transformed when Pluto enters Aquarius, which hasn’t happened since the 18th century. This is the preview of the beginning of the next brand new generation of children to be born, Pluto Aquarians. Generation Beta? Don’t get too comfortable though, Pluto will be back to retrograde through Capricorn and tie up any loose ends before moving on for good next year. The end of March - June may show a preview of what’s to come later on. For you, Pluto will be entering the 11th House of friends, social contacts, hopes & wishes, social media, and humanitarian efforts. You probably have some experience with these topics already thanks to Saturn having transited the same house for the last 2 and a half years. What Saturn has brought to your attention, Pluto will transform within your life. It’s possible for you be thrown into entirely new social situations, with people from all walks of life. Your online persona may be completely transformed as well, and you may find opportunities for growth using internet tools and networking on a much larger scale than ever before. Politics and humanitarian efforts may take center stage in your life in a big way. Your friend circle is up for review, and there will undoubtedly be some endings as well with Saturn still being in your 12th when Pluto makes its final shift next year, even if it’s a positive shift in your own consciousness regarding any personal bias towards worldly affairs. Saturn works on your mind, and Pluto opens the door to the whole world. Aries suns/risings will no doubt be some of our biggest humanitarians, politicians & social media personalities in the next 20 years. Especially once Saturn moves to your 1st House & onward ❤️

March 25

Mars moves into Cancer. This isn’t normally a shocking thing, Mars moves pretty regularly, but has been stuck forward, retrograde, forward in Gemini energy for 7 months, at the same time two major power players are also moving signs. Expect to be feeling much more emotional and moody, though the energy is all generally agreeable, it’s a big change for everyone. For you, being in your 4th House of home & family shows where your priorities and energies are for this time period. Mars will continue its normal shift through the signs every 2-3 months, and while it’s in Cancer you can expect to make changes on the home front, being more present in your family circle and connecting with those that matter most to you. This is a good time for family trips and experiences close to home, going to craft fairs & festivals, taking a lot of pictures and just enjoying these moments with those you love.

April 21 - May 14

The first of the earth Mercury retrogrades this year, in Taurus. Being an earthy & sensual sign and your 2nd House, money and possessions are likely to be your biggest challenge. For you, it’s a time when the stove/fridge just goes out, your phone gets lost, the A/C breaks, the washing machine floods the basement, and you can’t get ahold of your repair guy. It’s also a time when overcharging, hacking, scams, and credit card fraud are likely, make sure you’re checking your receipts & bank statements and try not to save your personal information to websites & apps - if you can avoid it. Try to refrain from making any big purchases or signing any contracts at this time, things are likely to go wrong or be missed.

May 16

Jupiter enters Taurus, and immediately squares Pluto Aquarius. This is going to magnify anything difficult that’s occurred in your Mercury retrograde, possibly making things more difficult than they need to be. Social circumstances and the economy could be affecting your financial situation, or things like deliveries, orders, receiving damaged goods, the stock market, things other people can mess up/manipulate that affects your possessions, house, or bank account. You’re likely to lose some money.

June 1

Jupiter conjuncts N Node Taurus in your 2nd, signaling destined connections and beneficial (possibly fated) events regarding the same issues that cause difficulties throughout April & May, you’re going to get back on track in the direction you’re supposed to be heading in, and Pluto is going to get out of your way to allow this to happen. When Pluto does make the permanent shift next year, the planets will be in different places, but you may see these same issues resurface in the future.

June 11

Pluto retrogrades back through Capricorn to handle any unfinished business, for the rest of the year. Expect old issues to pop up again, and this time they have to be solved for good. For you, this would be regarding your career - and having to deal with the fallout or accountability from these experiences, or make final decisions regarding them.

July 7

North Node moves into Aries, signaling destined events for those that have this placement. Being your 1st House, this is very beneficial for you, you may find yourself being more assertive and direct, confident, and the center of attention for the next two years. If you’ve been moved away from your path, you’ll be redirected back towards the direction you’re supposed to be heading. Obstacles that have blocked you from making progress may be removed from your path as if by magic.

July 22 - September 3

Venus retrogrades through Leo, and your 5th House, causing a lag in your sex life, possibly being overworked and underloved, or these are issues you may need to address with your partner. There could be issues regarding your children, any children, or projects they’re involved with. You could be feeling disconnected from them, or even your own inner child, which needs more love & attention. You could realize you don’t make enough time for fun, or maybe you don’t find the same things as fun as you once did. The hobbies you enjoy, children, and passionate encounters are up for review. It’s possible an ex may try to come back in, literally or in your consciousness and either they remind you of a self you once were, in a refreshing way that revitalizes you, or this is cause for contemplation when you realize how much you’ve changed and no longer enjoy the things you once did, because you’re not the same person today.

August 23 - September 15

Mercury retrogrades through Virgo, and your 6th House of health, routine, and daily interactions. Friction is likely with coworkers, reorganizing your house and schedule are good ways of expressing this energy. You’ve got Virgo’s planet retrograding through Virgo’s house and sign, it’s especially potent for you in this energy. But mostly positive, even retrograde, the energy is comfortable here. You could find health issues cropping up, needing to make necessary changes to diet and exercise, and with the 5th House Venus reversed at the same time, this could involve the health & routines of your children. It’s roughly back to school time in the states, and scheduling may prove especially difficult for you & them at this time. Things like physicals, teeth cleanings, vaccinations and healthy school lunches come to a head or go awry. If you’ve felt disconnected from your children or not paying attention (it happens), you may find them getting stuck in habits that aren’t beneficial for them, and you’ll need to step in and help/direct them through it. This may also involve your love life and having to make deep connection & romance as much of a priority as everything else in your world, or the health of a partner, either they’re changing everything up and making you eat some kale too 😆 or they’re dealing with issues & need your support through it.

December 13 - January 1

The last retrograde is in Capricorn, again this year, through Sagittarius as well. Expect last minute changes, mixed messages, delays and cancellations around the holiday season, it could be beneficial to do as much as you can early this year to avoid these things, if you’re a seriously scheduled sort of person. Especially with regards to your work, chaos may ensue, things may be lost, messages missed, plans cancelled. If you’re planning any travel around this time, be sure to schedule everything ahead of the retrograde, and expect delays & miscommunications.

*I say Suns/Ascendant because while the Ascendant is most affected by these specific placements, they may also describe the development of The Suns, and both apply. Other placements of these signs will be most affected when those planets have direct aspects to these things, but overall follow the Sun & Ascendant.

[wrathandgreed]

Side Guys with an Asexual MC

So I’m a sex-repulsed ace and I know (and appreciate :) ) how thirsty this fandom is, but I really wanted to write some soft fluffy HCs about the Others because I love them so much and I like the idea that they’d accept me or someone like me :) (I’ve also never written for the Side Guys before, so cut me some slack :)

GN!MC. MC is ace and sex-repulsed.

Diavolo

Wait, you mean he DOESN’T have to give a “royal performance” every night after dealing with running an entire realm?

He’ll be disappointed if you’re fully touch-repulsed, but he won’t let it stop him from showing his affection in any way you’ll let him.

Gifts, flowers, beautiful dresses for every ball (as modest or daring as you’re comfortable with).

And not just gifts - this man embodies all of the love languages.

Quality time? As often as he can. He’ll take you all over Devildom or treat you to excursions back up to the human world. Wanna see a movie? Go to a museum? Sit on the couch and put together a puzzle? Whatever, so long as he gets to spend time with you.

Words of affirmation? He won’t stop. If compliments on your physical appearance make you uncomfortable, he’s equally happy talking about your intelligence or creativity or singing voice. Whatever it is you love to do, he makes it easy for you to grow and improve. And he loves watching you do it.

Acts of Service? He’s a Demon Prince. Anything you want from him, you can have.

And if you’re into non-sexual physical intimacy, be prepared for every single moment of cuddles this man can wrench out of the day.

He just wants you to pet his hair as you walk past him while he’s doing paperwork. Give him a smooch when the two of you meet for dinner. Cuddle up on the couch while you watch a movie. Let him wrap himself around you while he sleeps.

Honestly, I doubt it would make much of a difference to him so long as he had some kind of intimacy.

Barbatos

Honestly, the most disappointed of the Sides.

He’s buttoned up and restricted and proper every minute of the day, and during the rare times he has a partner, sex is a release for him.

That’s not to say he’s unwilling to enter into a relationship. He’s been celibate for significant stretches of time before (it’s hard to find a partner - or even a fling - when you’re working 20 out of 24 hours and still need to sleep!) so he’ll just figure out how to be celibate while with someone.

While he can’t help but be attracted to you, he can help what he does about it and he makes sure never to make you uncomfortable.

Strangely, bathing together becomes his new favorite thing. Snuggling in the tub or giving each other a wash-up in the shower doesn’t satisfy EVERYTHING, but it definitely hits that “skin on skin contact” that he craves from the person he loves.

Also sleeping in the nude together, if you’re comfortable with that.

He spends every day covered up head-to-toe and even wearing gloves; he really needs skin contact and physical affection.

Knowing that he really can’t, physically, show you his affection, he starts carving time out of his day whenever he can to make room for you to fit in his life.

Might even talk to Diavolo about having a steady day or even just afternoon off every few weeks.

(Then has to turn down Diavolo’s offer for every other day off because, really, stuff needs to get done, man. You think this all happens by magic? I mean, it does, but someone still has to perform that magic. Constantly. And you’re trying to make him a part-timer.)

Simeon

Probably the most at-ease with the situation. Not that he doesn’t have a sex drive, or isn’t attracted to you, but the man is a literal angel. He has a million other ways to show his affection.

(And for the record, he doesn’t pull this “it’s more pure this way” crap. Because it’s crap.)

His biggest form of affection is his words - but mostly his written words.

Little poems or letter snippets start finding their way into your pockets and replacing your bookmarks.

They always take you by surprise, especially when you find on in an out of the way place (really, the man slipped a little scrap of paper with a haiku on it into your bottle of aspirin) but they always make you smile, too.

You start writing him responses.

You know when he’s found one of your poem/snippet responses because he’ll beam at you the moment he sees you.

(So what if your poems are things like “Roses are red, water is clear, Solomon’s annoying, and you are a dear.”)

Likes cuddles - if you’re ok with it, he is *always* touching you. Holding hands or scritching your head or letting you sleep on him.

He actually invests in a slanted lap-desk so he can write while you cuddle against him on the couch and watch TV or read.

Comfortable silence is the name of this relationship game.

Solomon

Man likes sex, not gonna lie.

But he’s got about a few thousand schemes, plans, and ideas whirling about his head on any given day.

He’s spent most of his life focusing on his brain and his magic. So you’re saying that’s still the focus? He can live with that.

Unlike the others, not much of a cuddler. (Except when he’s sleeping; then he’s wrapped tight around you like you’re going to disappear.)

The real connection in this relationship is of the mind.

Learn from him, work with him.

A perfect moment is two nerds having a three-hour long discussion on a potion adjustment, then testing it out.

Or taking a long walk to anywhere (but especially a magic supply store or bookstore)

Then there’s the other half of the relationship.

The pranking and trolling.

Coffee shop dates (where you use tiny wisps of magic to mess with people on first dates) and aquarium dates (until you get banned for trying to steal a jellyfish)

Anything and everything is free game in the House of Lamentation

And with the two of you working together? Pure, unadulterated chaos.

Somehow, he finds he doesn’t miss sex so much when the two of you are hiding in an empty RAD classroom, breathless from laughter and trying desperately to hold yourselves to a whisper so Lucifer can’t find you and (rightfully) blame you for exploding all of the magic circles in Hex class. Again.

He has a partner now.

It’s more than he ever expected.

[dreamii-yume]

So, in the event, Rook has shown that he just carries rope with him. You may do whatever you wish with that information 👀

This was an ask from a few...weeks ago? I don’t remember exactly how long this was sitting in my inbox because I was waiting for the perfect time to answer it (//∇//)

Rook had been a very kind and helpful senior to you this year. You’ll be lying if you say that you didn’t think he was a bit strange like the others, but he has that certain charm in him that makes it difficult for you to complete look away from his direction. Besides, it got to the point where you just got used to him and even thought his actions were somehow entertaining...If you were the spectator, rather than the target that is.

Rook is a very doting person as well, you are by no means an exception to this peculiarity of his. He’ll appear when you least expected it, often startling you out of your skin just by a mere greeting alone. He would always talk to you as if he’s reciting a poem ever so often, making you think that you may or may not have completely lost his point here, it’s almost like he’s talking in a different language. He always acts like this towards you, and to everyone else as well, you could never know what he’s thinking or what he wants in the first place. Part of you just thought that he may just have been built differently than others, but then again, Rook is an elusive individual to begin with so everything could all be an act in the first place.

Long store short; you were both fascinated and terrified of this man.

But as strange and conflicting your relationship with Rook is, you still respected the guy as your senior to some extent. Say what you want about the the Pomefiore Vice Dorm Leader but you can’t deny his wide range of capabilities. When you are at a lost for things that you think you can’t do, he was the one who provided you with the advices and help that you needed during those times. Before you knew it, you had already owe him in many ways and yet, Rook had never once asked for anything in return.

“Worry not, mon petite chérie. For I am only doing of what I must.” He would say to you as an excuse, often filling you with guilt sometimes. Especially whenever he would ever so gently pat your head, chuckling to himself as he towers down upon you. “Seeing the beauty in your smile is enough to make my own heart flutter in happiness. Oui, believe me when I say that it’s that marvelous.”

Huh...So, people who accepts things like that as payment still exists in this time and age too. Forgive yourself from being too suspicious of his behavior though, you just don’t think a single smile is worth all that trouble but you guessed this was just another “agree-to-disagree” kind of situation. Who knows? The two of you did grew up in two different upbringings. Or quite literally, two different worlds.

Anyways, although you respected his choices after all this time, you thought it was just common sense to at least provide him with a simple gift in his birthday. You saw how everyone else such as Epel, Vil, and Trey were preparing their own gifts, so you don’t think he’ll be able to reject yours this time. You made your way through the Pomefiore lounge where the party was being held, but was unable to see a single glimpse of your peculiar senior around. It was a lively party and he may be busy with the other dorm residents, so you felt a bit out of place and proceeded to ask people you personally knew about his whereabouts.

“Rook? I was talking to him earlier but now, I have no idea where he went.” Vil said with a sigh as he crossed his arms. “That guy is as elusive as always, even I wouldn’t know exactly what’s running through that mind of his. It puts me in an unsettling position actually.”

“But it’s his birthday for goodness sake, he’s the main protagonist of the day. He should be the one to at least entertain the guest out here, not hiding in plain shadows, seriously.” You laughed nervously as Vil ranted in irritation, huffing by the end. He then glanced at you and soon took notice of the gift you’re holding. “If that gift is for him then, just leave it at his room. It’s unlocked, I believe. We stacked the other gifts he got earlier there too so it wouldn’t clog up the lounge.”

“O-Oh, is that so...Thank you very much.” Thus, ended your conversation with the Dorm Leader with a bow, watching as he walked away saying how Epel had been consuming way too much sugar for the night. With no more leads to follow, you chose to go with Vil’s suggestion and headed out to his room, still at a lost for where your senior could be.

It was true, the moment you spotted the room and turned the doorknob around, it easily spun open. “...Pardon my intrusion...” You slowly said as you took a peak before entering, unsure if anyone was actually inside. There was no one, just some elagant room design as expected with the Pomefiore dorm, with neat furnitures decorated all around. You could feel your own heart cry when you compare to your own dorm which trademark lies within the ghost residents.

You felt slightly anxious, it was your first time visiting his room like this so you couldn’t help but to gawk at some things you’ve never seen before. This was your chance to explore another man’s room, albeit only for a few seconds and by the looks of it, it really hits different that of Ace or Deuce. It has the exact same smell as Rook and the sense of familiarity was somehow calming, probably because you’re so used to being in close proximity with him now. His belongings were all well-organized, the books are neatly stacked on the bookshelves, along with some...questionable collection of bows and arrows stuck on the wall. You also noticed a spare hat and a single telescope lying on his desk, you could ask what it was for, but you preferred to keep the question for yourself.

You shook your head eventually, quickly but carefully prancing inside to place your gift on his desk. Finally, your quest has been conquered, although looking around, the other presents that Vil mentioned was nowhere to be found. Maybe he has them already opened and kept at a certain storage of some sort? Anyways, that wasn’t your problem now, you did what you needed to do, it was your time to bounce out of this room, feeling as if you’re invading too much of his personal privacy. Rook did told you that he never liked that in a person.

...Until, something else caught your eye.

You stopped, eyes blinking repeatedly at the slight tear in the wallpaper near his bed. There was something hidden inside, no, it doesn’t seem like it’s trying to hide at all. It was deliberately placed in a place like that for everyone to see. So, like a cat overwhelmed by curiosity, you stepped close to inspect it, even going as far as stepping on the neatly draped bed sheets of his to get a closer look.

“Eh...?” It was a mass of pictures of almost everything and everyone you can think of upon coming to this school. It was stuck inside the wall like a collection of some sort and it took you a while to actually get what all of this meant. “There’s so many pictures...Pfft...!”

You ended up laughing at yourself for feeling so tense, you honestly felt stupid for the amount of suspense you gave yourself. Of course, this was definitely something that Rook Hunt will do, what did you think it was going to be? Sure, it is creepy to think that someone is keeping tabs at everyone and everything through photography but this is just normal in this school. At least, to those who knew Rook to some extent, it’s not really a big deal nowadays, especially at this school. Anyways, you calmed your laughter down and stared back at the pictures to actually admire them as despite it all, every one of them are all well-taken.

Humming throughout your exploration, you thought it would be interesting to see if you could spot yourself in one of these photos. You looked around and at first, it was tough since you weren’t anywhere in the photos that the wallpaper could reveal but after a while you found a glimpse of your own face at the very edge. However, the tear in the wallpaper stops there so it filled you with disappointment to not be able to see the photo he took of you. “That’s a bummer...” You pouted slightly.

However, combined with overwhelming curiosity, your mischievous side couldn’t help but to come out. You peaked through the small hole inside the wallpaper and confirmed that there is more, as you expected Rook would have, just not visible from your angle. You didn’t want to damage anything but you carefully slipped your fingers in the small opening, trying to get a better look of the picture. You were mainly trying to shine light on them, just a little bit more and you could make out of its content. It got your heart pumping somehow, eager to see what kind of photo you were in.

“Bonjour~”

Screaming almost immediately due to panic and shock, you made the mistake of instinctively gripping his wallpaper tight, dragging them down completely by accident. You turned around, face flushed and clutched your chest as your heart beats so fast that it feels like it could jump out at any moment. “R-Ro-Rook-san!?” You stammered out, your butt hitting the bed while your legs shook. “W-Wha-When...!?”

Rook only gave out a chuckle as you frantically try to calm your nerves, which was nearly impossible after the stunt that he just pulled. You knew he loved doing this and to think you’d be used to it by now, but this one felt so different than the other times you were startled by him. He was so close to you with that greeting, too close in fact. Just where the hell does he keep coming from, you didn’t even hear a single sound from your surroundings. Rook stood straight before glancing over at the mess you had realized you made when his expression turned that of worry.

You were still gripping onto the ruined wallpaper at this point so, you gasped and quickly turned around, preparing for any damage you may have caused. However, at that moment, you stopped once your eyes had finally caught what kind of picture were inside those wallpapers all along.

“Aah...To think mon chére fleur herself would be the one to unravel my collection! How embarrassing~!” Rook said, placing a hand on his slowly heating up his cheeks. He bats an eye to your direction, looking all embarrassed as you stared, unblinking at his work. He soon smirked and chuckled darkly, leaning in closer to you from behind, in which you shivered at. “...But how does it look in your perspective? Aren’t they all beautiful?”

Yes, they were harmless pictures, that’s all there is supposed to be on it. But these pictures striked a nerve in you, one such that you didn’t know could cause this much wave of alarming fear in your body.

They were harmless but they were not normal in the slightest. For almost all of what the wallpaper had revealed was all about you, and only you that it makes you sick to the stomach. Everything that you remember doing in your daily routine had been taken into consideration, from a picture of you yawning as you wake up in the morning, to a picture of you sleeping peacefully at night. Pictures of you seemingly eating, walking, talking, everything that you’ve been doing is pasted on the same wall before you, all taken in such high resolution. If that wasn’t enough, even a few photos of you in the nude was in there, bathing and changing, you unconsciously wrapped your hands around yourself as goosebumps quickly formed.

Rook had literally been watching your every movements, documenting your life with a camera and capturing everything, including things that hits way too close. Deeply disturbed, your eyes tried to glance everywhere but the pictures, only to find no escape to them. Some pictures had even been tampered with before taking the shot, like that one photo where his hands shows his hands deliberately spreading your legs for the camera as you slept. You shivered, unconsciously thinking about that other one where it was your breasts that was fully out for the world to see and oh, god...That one with your sleeping face covered with a suspicious white liquid, you almost gagged at the mental image.

“...W-What is this...” You slowly looked up at Rook with fear in your eyes, trembling like a leaf as the same guy looked down upon you with a chilling smile. It was honestly too nauseating that you instinctively brought a hand to your mouth, just in case something does come out.

“Beauty, my Love.” Rook purred closer to you, his eyes brimming with desire. “Your beauty.”

He caught your chin in a gentle yet tight grip. “I had it preserve in a memory that I would forever see. Just keeping them in my mind alone was not enough.” He said, closing in on you on his bed, preventing any possible escape routes. “...For I am a greedy man.”

And with that, you found yourself in his bind, pinning you down on the bed with your hands on each side of your head. “Now...The reason why you invaded my sanctuary was...?” Rook asked but he was not expecting you to answer at all. Instead, his eyes glanced to the side, eyeing the gift you left on his desk. “...Ah, of course. Vil must’ve given you permission to hand your gift in.”

You were as stiff as a rock, too tense to even act and move. The hands on your wrists doesn’t seem too tight but a feeling in your gut screams at you to not even try if you didn’t want to get hurt. You were left gulping down your own nervousness as Rook turned back to you with the same smile. “Merci. I’ll be sure to treasure whatever you have given me.” He whispered as he leaned closer, giving you a delicate kiss on the temple in which you squeaked at. “...But nonetheless, you trespassed on someone else’s territory, petite proie. A predator’s territory, on top of that.”

“I-I’m sor-“

“Non, an apology is not what I need. Someone as beautiful as you should not make that kind face.” Rook cuts you off, before suggestively licking his lips. He sat up, confident enough to let go of your wrist, knowing fully well that you wouldn’t have the guts to push him off. He straddled above your stomach, which left you confused and wary to wonder what he was planning to do. However, looking back at him, your eyes widened in caution as he suddenly pulled out a long and thick rope, one that would certainly burn your skin if you struggle too much. Where in the hell did he... “Lift your head up high and reap what you have sowed. That is the beauty that can justify your crimes.”

“Now...” You breathe heavily as he tightened his hold on the rope, biting his lip eagerly. You can’t even imagine how much he has planned inside his head. It made you visit the terrifying possibility that he was ready for this moment from the very beginning, curiated and planned. Your heart drops at the thought, if that is really the case, then...Just how much? How much further into the future did he plan exactly? “Allow me to indulge myself to this fine opportunity you gave me, beloved Trickster.

“...A fine opportunity, indeed. Beautifully so.”

Allow Yume to flex on her non-existing French skills along with her companion, Google Translate. i sincerely apologize to any French Darlings out there yume did not attend a single French class in her life lol

Someone teach me French so I can write more things about this sexy bitch.

[serenheist]

What Jennie is like in a relationship/ Relationship with G-Dragon Tarot reading

I know the anon asked for just a love life reading on Jennie but I’m extra and did everything lmao

What is the true nature of Jennie’s relationship with gdragon? Gloominous doom reversed 56, ace of swords, the hanged man reversed, lady of masks, triumph of lies, the glanconer 62 reversed

Oh god lmao. I don’t know why but I get the feeling this “relationship” is just for GD to be back on good terms with the korean general public. He got flack for smoking weed before, seungri shit, abandoning his dog, dating kiko etc etc. I really feel like him dating Jennie is just so the public has a better opinion of him when he decides to have a comeback lmao. Anyway the true nature of this relationship is literally someone full of extreme self pity had an idea to do this because it will make them look better and vice versa. But now there’s a feeling of being trapped. I really think this is an orchestrated relationship that was rushed and not based on actual love but for a specific purpose. But I do think it’s legit in the sense that it’s not that they’re not dating at all. But since Yg didn’t deny anything we can tell it’s “real”. Yg always denies if it’s definitely not a real relationship and always stays vague when it’s real. It’s made to look real for the public to get them talking but the core itself isn’t real. Basically pr shit. idc even if they got married none of this is real lmao.

I pulled 2 more cards from 2 different decks for extra clarification and I got the lady of masks and triumph of lies. You can’t make this up lol. “She reshapes the physical appearance of the souls who seek her out but this change is pure vanity, changing nothing of who they are at the core” it basically reflects who you want to be. This relationship is to make both parties look better lol. I feel that this is also a double meaning geared towards Jennie only because later cards in this reading continuously mention her wearing a mask. Triumph of lies is about keeping up appearances. This relationship is about living up to the expectations that society wants from you. I feel like it’s not just what people in the company want but also could be friends and family who put pressure on making this relationship happen for both. I can really see that since GD has a past of dating mostly models and the public has always been negative about everyone he’s dated except Jennie since she has a better reputation and for her this relationship can boost her status even more dating the king of kpop and being a power couple. I pulled a last card just to ask why you would need to fake a whole relationship even though we already know at this point and it’s redundant but I wanted to see how many times I can get cards saying the same shit. The glanconer 62 reversed: basically AGAIN someone is pretending to be other than they really are. I think both of them even believe in their own lie at this point and idk there’s a level of thinking you’re better than others so it’s okay to fool them anyway. Whatever makes you look good.

Who is Jennie in this/ her shadow aspect: obsession 3, gd: today for tomorrow 32

Since the beginning cards were pretty negative I wanted to dive deeper into Jennie and GD’s shadow aspects. And just use these cards to differentiate between them. GD is today for tomorrow and for Jennie I got obsession. The biggest shadow aspect to Jennie is that she feels as if she needs something whether that be a person, an idea, an object etc to give meaning to her life. She can also become really fixated on things to the point where that is the entire focal point of her life. It numbs her attention to other things.

How does Jennie feel about gd and how does he feel about her? Solus 13, the high priestess, the hierophant, gd: the guardian at the gate 3, queen of wands reversed, the fool

Jennie: Jennie feels that GD is someone who when you don’t know who to turn to or what to do, he is the person who can help you out. He encourages you stand on your own feet and utilize your own wisdom. But he also recognizes that you can’t do everything on your own so he helps you make the right connections with the right people and basically like a mentor position. I feel like they both almost see this connection as something “divine” at least in the beginning they could’ve convinced themselves this was this big divine intervention. But the reality started to set in and Jennie saw a different side of someone who has lost touch and went from being someone to look up to to becoming more “corrupted”. He no longer practices what he preaches, there’s lies mixed in with truth and the lines between right and wrong became more blurred. He does what he can to stay in power.

GD: He feels that Jennie is a new opportunity for a huge change. She’ll help provide an opportunity for him to make a big shift in his life. But at the same time he feels like she’s guarding herself and not being authentic with him. “Wearing masks that do not fit you”. I think he’s seen her change moods often from not figuring out how to release her passion and creativity in a healthy way and become more jealous and wanting to tear down others when she’s feeling down. Cause the queen of wands would be stepping in your power not hiding behind anything and appearing exactly how you are. Reversed it can bring out bring dramatic and feeling out of control of your own life and lack of enthusiasm. I think he’s seen her lose her passion for even being in the industry itself. I think that’s he’s wanting to take a leap of faith into something new I don’t know if he would want to stay in this “relationship” but I’m seeing it more of him going off on his own and stop worrying about the fear of the unknown. Honestly both seem like a hot mess for each other there’s a lot of work they gotta do on themselves separately because this whole connection is weird and toxic.

How long does it take her to get into a relationship? Does she prefer long or short term relationships? Princess of pentacles, 3 of swords, queen of swords 5 of wands reversed, 2 of wands, temperance reversed

She’s always been observant and was careful before in the beginning of relationships but no amount of carefulness can’t prevent heartbreak. It kind of hardened her and she learned how to play the game so to speak. The fact that the queen of swords is holding a severed head tells you all you need to know what happens if you break her heart. She seems burnout with relationships but at the same time can’t stop herself from not being in one because then you’ll be alone with your demons. I think she does prefer long term relationships but Jennie seems to go from one extreme to another. She plans for the long term but she also can’t control her emotions because they’re so intense. She’ll sabotage it and rush into a relationship with someone because she’s already planning this whole future and the other person is like “uhhh we just met..?” I think she builds up a fantasy in her head and gets carried away at times. And that’s where a lot of conflict and arguments arise and the cycle continues.

Past and present relationships. past: firgun 10 magick of you oracle, 2 of pentacles, Present: Euphoria 9, 5 of cups

I hate this word but I feel like in her past relationships she felt like the person she was with was her “twin flame”. This person was her mirror basically, every little thing she was and did was mirrored back to her. It was about learning how to heal the anger and hurt and learn to be happy for others success. But the relationship itself was a constant act of balancing career and love and all the ups and downs. It seems like even in her present love life she is still lingering over past relationships and now hides her actual feelings. There’s a lot of mask imagery in this whole reading. And not seeing everything you already have but being consumed with the thoughts of what went wrong or why it isn’t this way. And no longer sharing your true self fully. Instead there’s an element of not her not taking care of herself physically. Sharing herself intimately with people who treat her like garbage, poor eating, dragging yourself through workouts, excess of toxic substances; these are examples.

What is she like in a relationship? Eternal servitor, 10 of pentacles reversed, the lady of the harvest 18 reversed, the singer of intuition 7

This imagery of a person with no face and a whole in its chest really stands out to me again. It seems that when Jennie is in a relationship she still hides her true self and is constantly on a never ending search to fill something in herself that she feels is lacking. I think she uses money, clothing, love itself as a way to distract herself from this emptiness she feels inside and each time she wants more and more. Like she has to upgrade to the next biggest thing and it traps her in an infinite loop of never being satisfied. Idk but I guess it’s her wanting the world to see her importance; if she has these things then she is now worthy and it gives her a feeling of purpose. It’s not just the pressure of herself needing the best “thing” but a loooot of pressure from family and others to find a “suitable” partner. They need to come from the right background, make this amount of money, etc so her family can show off how wonderful this partner is and how amazing Jennie is doing. Even the next card “the lady of the harvest” reversed speaks of this again. It’s crazy how almost all of the cards are just saying the same thing. It’s about staying in denial and refusing to accept a loss and cling onto pain instead. Jennie is the type of person who thinks “if I can’t have it, no one will”. When she sees something she wants and can’t get it she will go into destruction mode because she feels that it’s the only solution. She’s not a forgive and forget person. A line in this guidebook really stands out to me “if you love something, let it go. If it doesn’t come back, hunt it down and kill it.” Pretty much sums up her mentality. Even if she enters a new relationship her mind is consumed by the past and the present relationship is only to save face and show off the image she tries to create to please literally everyone except herself. I think she’s very perceptive and can know someone who she’s with inside and out. She’s also very aware of the image she needs to uphold. There’s pretty much nothing you can hide from her because her intuition is so strong.

What is her "type"? the piper 24, 8 of wands reversed, Ta’Om the poet 29, Arthur

Let’s get the obvious out of the way: she likes musicians. Also the fact that this is legit the only faerie in this 66 card deck playing an instrument so what are the odds. She appreciates someone who pays attention to the subtle expressions of feelings and ideas and can see into her soul basically. It’s communication without words and that makes music that can heal your sorrows and pains. Someone that listens to not just surface level words but to the deeper meaning that can only be heard with your heart. Seductive, someone who looks serious but is actually mischievous and fun.

He encourages you to unfold your wings and fly, do the things you’re afraid to do, stop being silent and speak up, have a youthful spirit and do the thing you’ve been putting off for so long. He has a lust for life, adventure, an excellent storyteller and writing skills and a huge imagination. He has the power to inspire action with just his words. He sees things as they really are and sees beauty in all things even in the darkness and difficulty of life. He doesn’t take life so seriously though he knows how to laugh at himself and knows how silly it is to be sad over hardships in life. He doesn’t care for society’s expectations he’s a free spirit. But at the same time he slows down and knows how to enjoy the journey and not rush by the seat of his pants. He’s someone that’ll stand the test of time and be by her side through thick and thin.

What is her love language? Myk the myomancer 42, the oak men 47, 10 of wands

Idk if this really fits into any of the “official”love languages but her love language is someone seeing the small details, seeing meaning in the little things. So maybe little gifts even that don’t have to be huge but just shows that you’ve paid attention to what she likes as long as it has meaning and is well thought out. When you can’t see the finish line and it looks like it’s impossible to keep going that person is there to have your back. Also someone that sees her for who she truly is in her heart and can look past the superficial hard exterior cause I’m pretty sure it’s just a defense mechanism mixed with the environment she grew up and past relationships and she’s not actually the Antichrist contrary to how negative this reading may seem.

Probably typos but whateves

[gaymershigh]

How about Deuce, Azul, Idia and the Leech twins' if it's not too much, (smoll)male s/o saying "I love you." for the first time ? Thanks !

Sure, annonie! Since I also have a smol boi I can imagine this scenario in my head and It's! SO! CUTE! o(^▽^)o

Triggers: None

Deuce, Azul, Idia, Jade and Floyd small male s/o saying "I love you" for the first time

Neither of you two have said the phrase "I love you" no matter how much you two really want to say it because you two are too nervous to initiate it. He never had a romantic relationship before and is also as nervous as you so it's not really a surprise if you said it first.

He was always taking good care of you and always showing you physical affection. He enjoys hugging and cuddling your small figure, always nervously complimenting how pretty you are petting your head and everything. Yes, he has the balls to do all this but apparently not brave enough to say "I love you". Yes, very tragic.

So when you first said those magic three words, he was startled. Not sure what he really felt at the time but all we know is that he's shocked. When those words came out of your mouth, he made a dramatic gasp and stood like a statue, staring at you with his eyes all bugged out.

Despite him being probably ticklish, poking him even at his most sensitive areas won't even make him flinch, this is the most life changing moment for him. (almost correct, he's just being dramatic at the moment) He's aware that you love him but you saying it is still a shocking thing, this feels just like the time you confessed that you also have feelings for him. It takes a few minutes to go back to reality and when he does, his face is as red as Riddle's hair and fuming face combined.

He would feel ashamed about not being able to say it first. He would spit out thousands of apologies for not saying it first or not being not good enough because he didn't say it first. So he decided to spill all his feelings and what little things he loves about you in such a quick pace to the point he sounds incoherent. He'll get weird stares from other students and will get teased by both Ace and Grim later if they coincidentally walked pass you two.

Azul has said his love for you multiple times but it's not often as the others as he either doesn't have that much time to spend with you because of work or because he despises saying those words in public. Of course, he still wants to say his love for you but he has a reputation to hold and being overly affectionate is not something a gentleman nor a businessman would do! No matter how much he would love to hug your smaller figure from behind, it's just unprofessional.

He really doesn't give one if you haven't said you love him back but if this lasts until months, then he's getting anxious and antsy. He knows you love him back but he would appreciate it a bit more if you said it as well. He really craves to hear those three words from his s/o when dating. Plus, he has said it so much to you, why haven't you said it to him? He has these thoughts, thinking he was ready to hear it any moment but when he did hear it from you, he was caught off guard.

When you do say it, he stopped whatever he was doing. Yes, it was very unprofessional for a businessman to get so surprised over something so simple as that but give him a break. He might not be human but he still has the feelings of one. Plus, this is the first time he heard it from you. He managed to cover up his slightly shocked expression by clearing his throat and saying he loves you back, acting like nothing happened and tried brushing it off.

When he's in his workroom with both of the Leech twins there, he is having a hard time. Both having a hard time to focus and a hard time to keep his cool from his cheeks reddening in front of the devilish pair. He really cannot get that thought about you declaring your love for him, looking really cute and extra points for your shorter height making it seem more innocent and cuter. He kept adjusting his glasses and pinching the bridge of his nose. The two do realise that something's going on inside the mind of the octopus boy and decided to pester him about it later.

In his bedroom, a place where nobody is sure to see him doing whatever in there because he had forced the good habit of knocking and asking permission before entering to his dorm members, he's more of a mess since there's nothing restricting him from showing his true emotions. He's shifting all over the bed to the point of no return, all blushed up and still trying to cover it despite that nobody's there. It's always fresh in his mind and just prays for it to go away as fast as possible. It will, spoiler alert but it'll take a few couple of weeks or even months for the memory to fade away for now.

He has said his "I love you" to you before but it's not really that surprising or anything to be that shocked as he only declared it in text form. There's no way he's going to confess it verbally on irl because that's such a "normie thing to do"! And also because he's just anxious to say it in general. Yeah, it's just three words but they say so much and it's easier said than..actually saying it, especially in front of the person you want to say it to. Except he can't even say it in voice chat either.

It's like saying it in front of a cute anime girl character that every fan probably adores. You even have the cute height of an adorable move shoujo manga deuteragonist, the protagonist's love interest! cute, short and just the character's fan favourite, you know? It will either always take some time or it takes the end of the manga for the protagonist to confess. It's like the same thing except they're already together!

It was a normal day of voice chatting after a nice match of an online fighting game. He kept praising your amazing skills and tricks for playing for the first time and hoping that you two can play again. Then from that, he kept wanting to read these mangas he thought was interesting with you. He was very excited and filled with energy, how can't you not think that's straight up adorable and not express how you love that part of him?

So when you did, he went immediately silent. There's not even a noise of a ceiling fan. Just dead, utter silence. You kept calling out for his name no matter how many times he hasn't answered. Out of nowhere, he cut the call, leaving you alone. In just a few minutes later, he went offline. You were worried, what the hell just happened? You knew that kneading freakout about your sudden words but you for some reason didn't expect it to affect him that much. You might have to contemplate whether you should visit him to check if he's ok or not.

He's not ok, at all but not like in a bad way. He's happy but he's panicking. First, he's such a wimp for not saying the words first to the point you have to declare it first. Even if saying 'I love you' is such a normie thing, he's aware it's something important to say if you're in a goddamn relationship. Second, what was he supposed to say after that? 'I love you too'!? How? As much as he wants to spit it out, he couldn't. Though, one day. Maybe he could learn to say it back? Through the teachings of a shoujo mangas of course!

Jade is wonderful at saying his love for you verbally. His words can go from simple "I love yous" to a list of 150 reasons why he loves you in alphabetical order. Though he won't say it as much in public, his love language from both physical and verbal are endless! If you're a cheesy, affectionate man then he would be the perfect man for you! (though, he's always perfect for everyone in general)

There's no way for him to describe his love for you, especially his love for your small frame. It's obvious that he's a giant when compared next to you and he has pride for that. You unintentionally give him power and dominance just by staring at you. Just by holding you, he's amorous. He's always holding you close on his bed, whispering sweet nothings and the three words that never rolled out of your tongue until now.

It was another casual cuddling session after the long day of work of Jade. He was doing the normal thing, complementing your tiny body and saying his 'I love yous' and that. You were hesitant but after all this time of him praising you and after a long day of work, shouldn't he receive his reward and the thing that he should hear after months of being together? When you say the magic words, his eyes widen for a few seconds only for his face turns into his iconic toothy grin. He kept teasing you to repeat them as he pretended that he couldn't hear you.

He expects you to say these words more often now that you finally said it. For the entire time, he secretly waits for you to say those words because as much of a gentleman he is, he anticipated that you're supposed to say those words back not just because you're boyfriends but because he deserves it after all those comments he tossed to you. (don't worry, he means his words, it's just that my guy wants affection too) and when he finally gets it, he's very and finally satisfied, like he finished his final mission or something.

He might not show it since he's a master of hiding his emotions but he's genuinely joyful about it. He finally got one of his dreams about or with you finished and he was way more satisfied at the result. You're small innocent self finally saying I love you back is kinda like the dream for him for some reason.. Please say your love for him more without him begging because the last thing he wants to say to you is saying "say you love me"

Knowing Floyd, he doesn't care about what anyone has to say about his affection towards you. No matter where you are, if he's in a good mood then he has no resistance to just fling and run himself into your comfy arms. There's a reason as to why he chose you as your boyfriend after all.

He has a thing for people smaller than him and it's shown by bullying Riddle till he's about to blow up like a volcano (or already blown up, depends on how he feels or what he said) and you being his boyfriend won't make you immune to his teasing. If anything, he will bully you about your height even more but he knows where to cross the line unlike with other students. He's very touchy so expect him to touch your small torso every time he has the chance.

He doesn't even realise that you haven't said your love for him if your love language leans more to physical. He wouldn't mind if you don't say it if you're also returning his hugs and super invested in cuddling sessions. Kiss him, hug him or do anything that's physical and he would be just as happy but if you don't do any of that, then he might say something about it or puff his cheeks out, pouting.

You were on his lap, cuddling like always, ignoring the judgemental stares you two are getting. Brave enough for them to try staring down at your giant monster of a boyfriend. He pours everything interesting that has happened to him or he has witnessed, aka the normal things he does everyday (surprising of how consistent he was) and it was adorable especially with his cooing voice when he mentions something he really thinks is cool. You accidentally said that is what you love about him and he stopped and looked at you for a second.

"Oh, Is that so?" oh, get prepared to be teased for that by the way. He's more in love with more than ever when you said that, especially the way you said it confidently, knowing that well it's unintentional. He has no shame to ask you to say it more or he'll squeeze you. Unsure if that's just a joking statement or not. I mean, he's technically squeezing the life out of you, screaming "I love you" at a ridiculously fast pace so he's probably not. Unfortunately or fortunately for you, he will ask you where's his daily "I love you" if you haven't said it yet before you separate your ways to your dorm for the next day to rise.

Can you tell I panicked when writing Floyd's part? Don't know why I panicked in the first place though, lol~

~𝕸𝖎𝖗𝖎

[makowo]

Forever Deep Below Creation

This is still a work in progress, but due to my lack of posted writing in the past 3 months, I thought I'd give a sneak peek at the beginning of the fic.

Warnings: None

Characters: Naegi Makoto, Kirigiri Kyoko

Relationships: Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto

Words: 3k

It’s another warm night in the woods. Cicadas cast their calls to the air, and while some creatures tuck into their nests and dens, others rise to greet the darkened sky. Wing and hooves and fingers and claws grazing the sky, Brushing against the stars and cupping the face of the moon.

And here Makoto is, prepping dinner in the cottage he calls a home. His home. Their home.

He pulls out a knife from the block by the counter just as he hears the front door’s lock click. He can almost feel the burst of warm night air flooding their living room, though it is little to the warmth of the stove as it works to bring water to a boil.

He blinks, dropping his focus to turn towards his wife with a grin. “Welcome home honey!”

“Honey?” Kyoko echos, placing her bag on the coffee table. She leaves her holstered gun beside it, walking into the kitchen to check on him. “It’s unusual for you to use pet names.”

“Only if I wanna tease you.” He chuckles, and she does it right back. “Unless you prefer stuff like “babe” or “sweetheart”?”

Arms wrap around his waist, Kyoko resting her chin on his shoulder. “What’s for dinner tonight?”

She avoids the question, and he saves that tidbit of info for later. Avoidance is not a no, after all. “Yakisoba.” He nudges the noodles around with a spoon, half-focused on it as he leans back against his wife. “Thought it might be good to have something quick tonight, y’know?”

Kyoko merely hums, burying her face into the crook of his neck. “Shouldn’t you turn up the AC? You’re cold.”

“Means I can cuddle up to you to stay warm tonight though.”

“As if I’ll let you do that.” She scoffs. He can feel her smile against his skin.

“Ohh?” He goes through the motions of prepping their dinner, Kyoko stumbling along with his hasty steps with a steadfast grip. “And how are you gonna stop it?” Even if they’re on opposite ends of the bed, they always wake up with one clinging to the other. Hard not to cuddle.

She takes a minute to ruminate on it, before managing an answer. “Heater. Right between us.”

Makoto laughs. “Won’t that burn?”

“If it keeps your ice hands from touching me at 2 in the morning, then ‘m fine.”

His whine of objection couldn’t be more fake. “That’s mean.” He quickly nabs the pair of bowls set aside early on, tracing the grooves of their rims with his thumbs as he sets them out side by side. “You’re mean.”

Finally, he’s released from his lavender-scented prison as Kyoko reaches for one of the bowls, unsubtly nudging him in an attempt to get him out of the way. He stays still however, nudging her right back. “It’s still hot, Kiri-san! Gotta let it sit for a bit.” He warns with a frown.

“It can sit for a bit in my bowl.” She replies deadpan, still urging him away. And he relents, because it isn’t that big of a deal anyway but he doesn’t want to watch Kyoko burn her mouth while trying to eat again. Or just forget about it while she works.

“Then eat with me in the living room.” Makoto grabs his own bowl, getting what yakisoba she leaves behind in the pan. “And after it, we go straight to bed.” He’s not risking his work going to waste, after all.

Even with these tough terms he’s set up, Kyoko lazily nods, most likely due to still suffering from sleep deprivation. Maybe she’ll decline when she’s woken up a bit, maybe she won’t. Makoto decides to settle down on the couch and put on a movie that might distract her from it anyway.

It’s more background noise than anything, though; something about an escape room? Pretty sure he put on a sequel movie too, which turns their interest only to one another. Not that he minds.

“Would you like to go on a trip sometime in the next month?”

“Mmh, yeah?” He replies through a mouthful of food, quickly swallowing it before continuing. “What case has you going out of the country this time?” It’s not odd for Kyoko to ask if he wants to travel with her if she knows it’ll take too long for Makoto to bear.

She shakes her head, taking a bite of her food before answering. “I mean as a vacation, actually?” She replies with a tone implying that she’s questioning her own words already.

“Vacation?” He can’t help but echo, because… well, Kyoko never takes vacations! He can imagine she has a lot of days saved up because of that, but it never seems like she plans to put them to use other than for emergencies. Guess he read her wrong on that part, even if this is the first time she’s planning a legitimate vacation herself in the four years she’s been working as a detective again.

“Is it a bad time?”

“No, no!” Makoto shakes his head, not daring to let this slip by. “I’d love a vacation! It’d be nice to get out of the house.” He doesn’t really have much going on anyway, since the whole school idea didn’t really pan out. He’s just a stay at home husband now, and since Kyoko still makes enough money to support them both, he’s not actively seeking a job right now. Thus, he’s perfectly free.

Kyoko smiles. “Good. I’ve made sure to go ahead and clear up a week for ourselves, but I need to know what you might want to do.” She glances at him curiously, before quickly adding on. “Preferably not something that’s outside of Japan, I’d have trouble paying for that right now.”

Well that’s a no brainer for him, but it does narrow down his options significantly, which he happens to be thankful for. “Do you have anything in mind?” For a fleeting moment, Makoto recalls his dinner, taking a bite of it before he looks away from it and thus forgets it even exists. “I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really have anything in mind…” Never been one to aspire for once-in-a-lifetime thrills, like skydiving or something. He’d be happy just lounging at home the whole week, despite his earlier comment.

“I thought we could go to a nearby city then, and go sight-seeing.” Kyoko spares a glance towards the movie playing, before interest in it is once again immediately lost “Maybe in Seoul? There’s a large cave system there as well, and they’re open to caving this time of year.”

“Hm?” Makoto tries to recall what exactly that is, but he’s drawing blanks. “What’s that?”

“Well, Seoul is-”

“I know what Seoul is.” Makoto deadpans, though completely understands why she thought that was what he was talking about. He’s not the most educated person, what with the whole memory loss thing. “”I mean caving! I’ve never, uh, heard of that.”

“Ah.” Kyoko nods, setting down her bowl on the coffee table. “Apologies. It is rather self-explanatory however; we just go and explore a cave system with a small group.” She shrugs, stifling a yawn. “I thought it might be fun to do something like that together. It’s rare for a person to do, wouldn’t be too dangerous, and we’d be together the whole time.”

That does sound pretty cool, he’ll admit. He’s never really gone into a cave before, if he excludes the ones that they’d have to hide in during… ah, well, it’d just be nice. Doing something kind of thrilling. He imagines it’s thrilling, at least.

“I think it’d be fun!” He finally chirps, leaning over to rest his head on Kyoko’s shoulder. “It’s been a while since we’ve done something together, I’m sure it’d be a good time for us both.” And he’s pretty sure they don’t have any trauma tied to caves, which is a definite plus! Unless they count claustrophobia? Neither of them have shown signs of that though, so they’ll hopefully be fine. Hopefully.

As if she were able to sense his worry (which he doesn’t doubt that she can), Kyoko places a hand on his leg, stopping its worried bouncing. He hadn’t even noticed it doing that. “Are you sure?” She asks lightly, brow furrowed with worry. “”It can be dangerous, you know. There’s only so much a tour guide can do to make naturally made caves safe to enter.”

Makoto frowns, now actually worried. “Then why would you recommend it?” He asks, very quietly.

Kyoko takes a while to respond. In fact, she doesn’t respond until she’s actually finished her dinner, as well as his. It was getting cold so he may as well let her have it. “Do some looking, and if you have a better idea, tell me.” And then she heads to bed, because that’s just. A perfectly fine way of ending a conversation.

Makoto trudges on after her after about an hour of thinking (mostly lack thereof, with the television being such a terribly convenient and easy distraction) on the couch. Unlike most nights though, where the room is pitch black, her back turned from the door so as to not catch the stray rays of lights that he’s forgotten to turn off, it’s… actually still pitch black in there. But after a moment of letting his eyes adjust, he catches Kyoko’s alarmingly bright gaze cutting through the gloom.

“Can’t sleep?” He mutters as he stumbles through the dark, going off of his recollection of the room’s layout, reduced to something of barely any use through the haze of sleepiness tugging at his being.

“I can.” She replies slowly, watching him not unlike how a cat would watch their owner. Not that she or their relationship in general compares to that; she just has that… “look”. Like she knows everything. “Was just waiting for you to come to bed.”

If he’s being honest, it’s kind of exciting. It’s the look she gives when her interest is upon him entirely, something that earns a flattered blush every time. “Thank you then.” He chirps, before crawling into bed like a lizard wriggling beneath the warm sands of a desert, except much less gracefully.

He almost expects nothing to happen, oddly enough. He should have known Kyoko was waiting for a reason.

A warmth presses up against his back, and a hum against his ear. “Don’t have to go in until noon tomorrow.” Kyoko huffs. He can just sense her smile when he shivers. “So… we could…” something presses between his legs, and teases just the right spot, “have some time to ourselves, maybe…?”

Makoto is a weak man, and especially weak for his wife. And thus, all he can do is scrounge up what remains of his energy, roll over, and let the franticness of their motions do the rest. ------------------------------------

It’s quite a hike to get to the cave they’ve been looking at. The route is safe, spacious, and short for the most part; it’s apparently a tour “good for beginners”, and while Makoto believes their caving adventures will begin and end with this one, it’s nice to know that this place doesn’t have any curveballs. Or spike-filled areas. Or tunnels one can only crawl through. Or maybe even fractures.

“Stop worrying.” Kyoko demands, his thoughts coming to a harsh stop. He manages not to be totally thrown off, following hastily after his wife as they trudge along a pebble-filled path.

He sighs when he catches up, glancing around. Just west there’s Tokyo, bustling with life, but it’s far enough only to serve as a backdrop to the hill-covered fields they’re in. They follow a path lined by thin ropes tied to sticks in the ground every other step, as despite the lack of actually dangerous areas nearby, there’s a lot of… well, area. The Tragedy changed a lot of the landscape, more so than most would believe.

Stopping his mind from wandering too far again, Makoto directs his attention ahead. They have a few other people with them, much more diverse in their body type than he assumes the average would be for much more difficult to traverse caves. They talk amongst themselves, all of them clearly going with someone they know for the trip. Ahead of them, the tour guides walk, though he can’t tell what they’re doing. He doubts it to be much at all, really.

“Are you excited?” He finally asks, careful not to speak loudly. He doesn’t want to draw much attention from their peers here, they’re lucky enough to have only garnered a few curious looks.

“Of course.” Kyoko replies, just as quiet. “I’m sorry it had to be delayed so much, cases just kept piling up.”

Makoto scoffs. “Don’t worry about it, I’m just glad you’re able to help people.” Adjusting to keep a good hold on his backpack, he reaches over to grasp Kyoko’s hand. She’s changed her gloves today. Much rougher. “Even if it’s not another year until we get a chance like this again, I’m satisfied.”

He hopes for a smile, or the most likely quirk of the lips she gives when beyond the walls of their home. He earns neither.

“I’m not.” She tightens her grip, tugging him forwards. “Come on. We’re falling behind.”

Makoto nods, silent as he follows her up the steep incline, and silent still until they come to the entrance to the cave.

He can only think of an open maw when he sees the entrance. It sits neatly above the ground, embedded into the side of the hill’s peak, moss creeping over the exposed rock. Various plants and flowers bloom from cracks in the walls he can see, reaching out towards the sunlight beyond. But as he looks upon the entrance, the teasing glimpse it shows of its surely vast depths, he can’t help but think they’re trying to escape the dark rather than gain any sunlight.

The heat must be getting to him.

“Alright everyone!” One of the guides chirps, clapping their hands to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s do a quick check to make sure everyone has what they need!”

Makoto remembers all their supplies, and part of him knows that he has everything, but anxiety urges him to check once more. Plus, he needs to actually put some of it on now. That too.

He crouches down and pulls his backpack around, trying not to focus on the cave. Instead, he mentally lists off each item as he finds it; helmet, gloves, boots, first aid kit, and a flashlight. Not much really, and he’s more than happy about that fact.

Makoto sighs, putting on each item he needs and putting away the rest. He’s careful about the gloves in particular as he puts them on; the helmet may have a light that could break if he’s not cautious, but Kyoko picked these out for him specifically before this trip. She has very strong opinions about them, and apparently these are the best pair for this sort of task that she could find. And they must be, they’re very comfortable! A perfect fit even, despite the fact that she gave them to him on the way here without any warning. He can’t imagine what they must have cost.

After checking for his caving suit and quickly realizing that he already put it on before making this trek, Makoto shoves his old shoes and socks into the back, hopping back up just as everyone else seems to be handed something.

“Now, before we head in, I want you all to get a good look at this map.” The guide says as they hand a sheet of paper to each group. “Even if this is a short trip, and we know this place like the backs of our hands, there’s a few turns here and there!”

Kyoko takes the map they’re given, Makoto peering at it from over her shoulder, having to crane his neck to get a good look. It doesn’t seem like too much, thankfully; there’s a meander or two, but none on the main path, thank the gods. He’d prefer not to have to do any crawling during this!

“It’s a straight shot, huh?” He comments absentmindedly, resting his chin on his wife’s shoulder.

She merely huffs, reaching back to thread her fingers through his hair. Despite the unsatisfying feeling of the gloves she’s wearing right now, he eagerly leans into the touch. “Yes. I’ve seen pictures of the cave as well, and it appears to not be very dangerous, unless one was actually being reckless. Should take about twenty minutes, at most.”

Makoto grins, wrapping his arms around Kyoko’s waist. She makes another sound, something like a noncommittal grunt, but doesn’t nudge him away as he expects. It’s nice. “And after this we go eat at Stellar Cafe.”

“We ate there last week.” She quickly reminds him, paying only a partial bit of attention to what those in front of them are saying. Something about the first aid kits, nothing very important.

“Too bad.” He gives her a quick peck on the cheek. “I like their food, and the service is nice.”

He can hear her stifle a laugh as she pulls away. “You like their curry. There’s perfectly good curry elsewhere.” She reaches into her own backpack, pulling out a walkie talkie. “Now get your radio out.”

“Don’t you think this is kind of overboard?” He pulls it out anyway of course, making sure his is connected to hers. “They never recommended these for caving, at least not on the sites I looked at.” Seems that most of the time people are expected to stay together anyway, if there’s more than one person at all. He’s surprised Kyoko decided to do this.

“Can’t ever be too safe.” Is all she says, before looking to the cave. “It’s time to go.”

Makoto follows her gaze, and sees the rest of the group already clambering over rocks as they enter the hole. “Ah.” He pauses, choking on nothing for a moment so fleeting he can’t even react. “Yeah.”

If he showed any hesitation, Kyoko does not acknowledge it. Instead, she walks ahead, and with heavy steps he pretends are eager, Makoto follows her into the dark.

------------------------------------

and that's it! quite a bit, and definitely not the best writing in the world, but im very proud of it so far! if you can then please rb this and give your thoughts, i do this for free but there's a reason i post my fics at all, which is validation <3 basically what keeps me going and able to continue writing at all, actually.

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

[draconica]

Oooo, for the writing prompt, a little 7+4+1? Or just one, I might be a little greedy 😖🤣

7: Engagement sex 4: Petnames 1: Spicing things up in the bedroom

I made it work, anon   ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I also headcanon Ellis can be a powerbottom so enjoy that

When Ellis returned home from the shop one warm evening, he was humming softly to himself. There was a sly smile to his features as he gently jostled the plastic bag he had brought home. There was no groceries or anything that mundane inside. No, there was something very special inside of this particular carrier.

“Niiick?” he crooned in the hope that his boyfriend was home, and in the mood. Now, he was home, but as Ellis turned the corner into the living room he was met with a sight he wasn't quite expecting to see.

Nick was stood in a black suit - a proper, swanky, three-piece number – and holding a red rose. A soft song was playing on their stereo system, and the lights were turned down low. He had definitely been stood here for some time, waiting for Ellis to return home, and Ellis dropped his smile briefly. The gambler was smooth as silk at the best of times, but this was unexpected.

“Welcome home, sweet peach,” Nick led with, making Ellis blush – that damn pet name of his. “You good?”

Ellis scratched the back of his neck. “Uh, I'm jus' fine,” he smiled, setting down his bag for now, and gesturing to Nick as he took a step towards him. “What's this for?”

In a second, Nick's smile slipped a little, arching his brow. “...You forgot, didn't you?” He rolled his eyes, but that smile soon came right back as he stepped forward also, closing the gap between them and offering him the rose. “July 12th? The day we got out of quarantine?” Nick chuckled, leaning in closer and making it more personal. “The day we moved in together, made the new place official?”

A million thoughts swarmed Ellis's head at that point, taking the rose and knowing he was absolutely overcome with blushes. “O-oh… damn, I guess I did forget,” he giggled, tilting his head a little as his boyfriend leered closer. Even now, Nick was still the most damn attractive man he'd ever met, let alone dated. “M'sorry, darlin', just had a lot on my mind, I guess?” he shrugged.

Nick seemed to understand, nodding once before pulling Ellis in for a kiss. “It's all good, sport. You can make it up to me later. But for now...” he turned and clicked a remote in love control, turning down the music a touch, before his hand returned to where it belonged – holding his lover's.

“Ellis,” he began, looking down at his thumb caressing the back of El's hand. “It's been a hell of a ride to get here, huh? Fighting for our lives every day in the apocalypse, a year of quarantine, and now three years of living together. Before the Green Flu, I was at my lowest point. I… well, wouldn't be alive if I hadn't met you. The zombies were a distraction, but you were a reason to live. You mean the Goddamn world to me, Fireball, and I want to spend every day by your side. So… I have one question for you.” Ellis watched on, mouth dropping, as his boyfriend got down on one knee and produced a velvet box containing a thick silver ring. In the center, there was set a dark blue gemstone. “Ellis, mi tesoro, will you marry me?”

Needless to say, Ellis had not been expecting this today, and that was obvious given the absolute astonishment on his face at that moment. It almost made Nick want to laugh, but he was slightly too nervous for that.

Thankfully, Ellis broke into his lop-sided, brilliant Southern smile. “You sly sumbitch,” he chuckled. “Hell yeah, I'll marry ya!”

The gambler got to his feet, immediately bringing his lover closer into his arms with an unbreakable smile. The ring was a perfect fit onto Ellis's fourth finger, something else that Nick had been worried about, but seeing how snugly it sat made the older man's heart swell. “I love you, Overalls.”

“Love you, too, darlin',” Ellis responded as he brought Nick's face in for a kiss... and then another... and then his arms were around Nick's neck. Any distance between them was suddenly gone.

It wasn't unusual for their kisses to get out of hand, certainly in their earlier days where it seemed like sex was on the table every day (not literally, except for a few times Ellis can remember where they'd gotten adventurous…). That's when Ellis remembered what was in the bag he had brought home. Well, now he had no choice but to surprise his lover with its contents.

By now, Nick's kisses had moved to the mechanic's neck, and Ellis couldn't suppress a shiver as he found his favorite spot just below his ear. Many a hickey had been placed there before, and it was near-enough a certainty that he'd be getting a new one tonight.

“Nick,” he whispered, shifting his hand through the hustler's hair and smiling when he caught sight of the shiny new engagement ring on his finger. “Take me to the bedroom.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Nick chuckled before tightening his grip around Ellis's waist and hoisting him up, causing the younger man to gasp against his lips. “You don't have to tell me twice.”

Of course, Nick couldn't possibly carry Ellis up a whole staircase and into said bedroom. He wasn't a young man anymore, after all. Not that Ellis minded – it actually gave him a chance to grab the bag he'd brought home. Nick gave him an odd look as he did so, but his young fiancé had simply smiled, told him not to worry about it with a pat to the cheek.

Once they both stepped into the bedroom together, Ellis set the bag down once more and brought Nick into more kisses, having missed them in the thirty seconds they had stopped.

“How long were ya plannin' that for?” asked Ellis curiously as he slipped the black tie from Nick's neck, smiling at him.

Nick shrugged a little. “Few months,” he admitted. “Knew I wanted to marry you someday, seemed like the anniversary of getting out of that Goddamn pandemic was a good time.”

Ellis was now working on those pesky shirt buttons, granting him access to that chest hair he loved so much on Nick. “Romantic as usual,” he mused. “Gotta be honest… I was plannin' a lil' somethin' for us tonight, too. Nothin' big like askin' ya to marry me, so kinda puts my gesture in the shade.”

“Don't be modest, sweet peach,” Nick chuckled, allowing Ellis to remove his suit jacket and leave it on the floor – something he usually gets very picky about.

“Well...” Ellis slipped Nick's belt from his pants, and was pleased at the choice his lover had made – a black leather strap. Yes, this'll do nicely. “I know you like bein' in control 'n all, but I wanna show ya how we ride in the South.”

That piqued the gambler's interest, not in the least because Ellis was looping the belt around his hand, pulling it taught for Nick to see, and something about the sight was enough to set his erection at full mast.

“Ace...” he paused, needing to wet his lips when he found his mouth suddenly dry. “Do I get a say in this?”

“You certainly get to pick the safe word,” mused the mechanic, shifting his weight slightly on his hips as he played with the leather strap some more.

Nick must've been mad, or at least deeply in love, as he decided to shift control over to his little fiancé for the night. “All right,” he conceded, stepping out of his pants which, with lack of support, had pooled onto the floor. “Where do you want me, sugar?”

The mechanic's grin spread further up his cheeks. He led Nick over to their king-sized bed and sat him down. “Now, you go ahead and make yourself comfortable, mister gamblin' man, and I'll go slip outta these here greasy clothes.” With a little canter to his steps, he grabbed the bag once more and headed to their en-suite bathroom, shooting a look over his shoulder. “Recommend losing those there briefs, too. Won't be needin' them at the rodeo.” And with that, he disappeared into the next room, door shutting slowly behind him.

Nick had always been good at following instructions, and Ellis's were about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face. So, as he stripped himself down completely and got comfortable, he took the time while Ellis was gone to think about some of the more memorable trysts in their relationship.

There was the very first time which had been during the apocalypse. It had been rough and hurried, considering they had just escaped death by the skin of their teeth, and it was more a carnal desire of the most basic of human instincts. Ellis had almost alerted a horde with how loud he'd been.

There was another time, during quarantine, where love had for the first time been entered into the equation. Namely, the first time they had said 'I love you' to each other. Nick had topped then, too. And he wasn't a picky partner by any means – after all, Ellis was young and full of testosterone, and sometimes he needed to fuck just as much as anyone else. Nick had come to enjoy bottoming, absolutely, but he was more or less the one in charge on most nights. Ellis never complained; quite the opposite, in fact. Nick was still lost in thought when suddenly the bathroom door opened at last, revealing Ellis in his attire for the evening: Nothing but a cowboy hat (and one engagement ring).

“Howdy,” he drawled as he leant against the door frame, still playing with Nick's belt in his hands. “Heard there was a no-good city slicker that I needed to take good care of. Assumin' that's you, handsome?”

Nick couldn't' help but smirk up at him, raising an eyebrow. Ellis was unbelievably adorable, especially whenever he was making effort to please him. That included… this. “Goddamn it, Ace,” he shook his head. “Didn't think this was how my night was gonna go.”

Ellis shot him an amused look, then slipped right back into character. “I'm the best darn rodeo rider this side'a Georgia,” he boasted, sauntering closer to the bed. “Ain't no wild stallion I can't tame. So, reck'n you'll be my best ride yet.” The mechanic reached into the bedside drawer to fetch the lube, and took a moment to stand beside the bed, looking over his naked lover. “Safe word?” he asked.

Nick nodded up at him. “Witch.”

Ellis frowned. “Damn, Nick, really? All the words in the entire American language and you had to pick one that reminds me of the time you almost got yourself killed?”

“You almost got me killed,” retorted the hustler, squinting at him. “You're the one who spooked the bitch.” But he shook his head, letting a smile return to his red face. “Fine. Safe word is 'wedding'.”

With a roll of his eyes, Ellis blushed a little as he set the lube down on the table for now. “Good 'nough for me.” Slipping back into character once more, the Southerner crawled his way onto the bed and straddled his lover, halfway up his chest, at one point his erection bobbing near Nick's face. The gambler just watched on with hungry eyes. “Now then… one thing I know about tamin' the wilder beasts is that they need to be trained, sometimes with force.” Ellis looped the leather belt around Nick's neck gently, watching the older's green eyes for any signs of discomfort or fear. There was nothing but trust, and a lot of hunger.

Ellis cinched the belt, not tightly, but enough for Nick to feel the presence of his around his throat. With a twist of his hand, Ellis curled the leather around his wrist and tested the length. There was plenty to work with, and he grinned. “Damn, look at'chu, city boy.” Ellis backed up his hips, grinding himself backwards onto Nick's cock, and watching in triumph as Nick's eyelids fluttered slightly. “I think I'm gonna really enjoy ridin' you.”

The helpless gambler chuckled as he rested his hands on Ellis's thighs, watching those hips move back and forth and craning his neck back a little. A moan almost made it's way out of his mouth, but not quite. Ellis had to try harder. “You're getting more into the kinky sex, Overalls,” he smiled, throwing in a wink. “I'll take credit for that.”

With a tilt of his head, Ellis's hand pulled back, tightening the belt a little like pulling on the leash of a disobedient dog. Nick gasped beneath him, moaning in the afterthought, which made the cowboy grin. “You speak outta turn like that again and you'll be in the doghouse,” he threatened. Reaching over to the nightstand, he took the open tube of lubricant and squirted the thick liquid onto two fingers. The look in his baby blue eyes was so very kinky, and Nick could feel his cock give a twitch in appreciation as he pictured what Ellis was about to do with those fingers.

Picking up the belt once more with his clean hand, those fingers then went behind Ellis, slipped between his cheeks and found his pucker. The younger man was a dab hand at prepping himself, and knew his own body inside and out. While he worked his magic, he moaned aloud and reintroduced his bucking hips back into the mix. The sight was amazingly erotic, and Nick couldn't resist reaching over to play with Ellis's neglected dick. Ellis, for the most part, seemed to allow it, even bucking up again into the gambler's grasp.

“You're thinkin' about it now, aren't ya, city boy?” Ellis chuckled with an open-mouthed grin. “Thinkin' about me ridin' ya real good, getting' ya all hot 'n bothered...” He leant in slightly, pulling once more on Nick's restraint until the man was a little closer. “Thinkin' about how fuckin' good I'm gonna feel around your cock once I'm wet n' ready?”

That accent was so thick, deep with lust, and it was driving Nick crazy. The gambler gave a groan, just as the belt loosened again and allowed him is breath back. His head fell back to the pillow, already seeing a black fuzz around his vision. “God… sweet peach…”

“Yes, my darlin'?” Ellis crooned, by now with three fingers knuckle deep inside of himself.

“Ple…” Nick panted as he closed his eyes. “Please.”

That was all Ellis needed to hear. With another lop-sided smile, the mechanic shifted until he was kneeling and scooted back a little on Nick's body. He kept a keen eye on his fiancé's face, even as he reached behind, took Nick's cock in hand, and slipped himself down onto it like he'd done it a hundred times before.

The card shark grunted and turned his head a little, and Ellis could hear a shift behind him as Nick moved his legs. His feet was planting themselves onto the mattress and knees bending up, in order to provide him with the leverage he needed. Ellis leant back, slipping down further onto Nick's cock while at the same time resting against Nick's thighs like a back rest. He was grateful for that.

“How about that?” Ellis nearly sang as he shifted on Nicolas's lap. “You're bein' a good boy after all.”

Nick said nothing, just looked up at his Southern lover with a smile on his face, throwing in a wink for good measure. Ellis chuckled and wrapped the belt once more around his wrist for another harsh tug, at the same time, lifting his hips and slamming back down in a harsh bounce. The leather crackled in his grip, and Nick drew another breath. His face was getting redder. “El,” he managed, grinding out the noise, and Ellis was careful to make sure he had enough air to speak, should his next breath utter the safe word.

“Giddy up,” purred the cowboy, reaching up to hold his hat before beginning his ride. Putting all his power to his thighs, up and down Ellis's hips went as he bounced away. The sweetest moans left his throat – couldn't rightly help it, as Nick had always been the best lay of his life.

Nick's hands found their way to Ellis's hips, gripping him there and guiding him on and off his dick. In no time at all, Ellis was fully into the sex, letting go of his hat to reach back and steady himself on Nick's knee as he continued to ride him hard.

“Fuck yeah,” Nick murmured to himself as he gazed up at the scene Ellis was blessing him with. He groaned soon afterwards, craning his neck, and smiled up at his lover. “The belt… please… fuck...”

Ellis grinned and slowed his thrusts down a little in order to tug the belt once more, harsher and tighter than previously. Nick's knuckles went white around Ellis's hips.

“Look at ya… enjoyin' yourself so much,” Ellis praised and drove his hips down once more, grinding back on Nick's length. “C'mon, city boy, you know you wanna come inside'a me...”

Nick could hear the blood rushing around his head, fell the pleasure begin to whirlpool around his cock, and did the only thing he knew he could do. He moved a hand to Ellis's dancing erection and gave him a tight sleeve to fuck into, watching with watering eyes. The Southerner groaned and dropped the leather strap in favor of bracing both hands on Nick's legs, rocking himself like crazy. The gambler drew a gasp of air, Ellis threw his head back, and then it all went white.

“NICK!” Ellis broke character at the last minute to shout his fiancé's name in orgasm. He spilled semen all up Nick's chest and some managed to hit his chin. The sight was erotic enough to send the older man tumbling off the precipice himself, filling Ellis up until he was overflowing. Ellis moaned and lifted himself off for the last time, feeling warm liquid seep down the insides of his thighs.

With a sigh, Ellis leant forward and braced his hands on Nick's shoulders to prevent himself from falling atop him. The cowboy hat fell from his head and onto the floor beside the blunt end of the belt. The mechanic looked up at last, seeing Nick with his eyes closed and drawing in large breaths. He blushed as he reached up to carefully removed the leather from his neck, letting it clatter to the carpet.

“Darlin'?” Ellis whispered as he lifted himself off of Nick, in the process grabbing some tissues in order to clear them both up. “Nick.”

Nick opened his eyes at last, letting them fall onto his cute young lover as he grinned. “Even after all these years...” He reached out to cup El's cheek, rubbing his thumb there. “...you still surprise me, Overalls.”

Once the necessary clean-up had been finished, Ellis crawled back onto the bed and cuddled right up to his gambler, running his hand through his fine chest hair. “Glad you enjoyed the show, Nick.” He looked down, admired the ring still snugly on his finger. “Yeah, not quite how you pictured your night goin', huh?”

“No, sir,” agreed Nick and moved his hand up to lace their fingers together. “But if this is how the rest of my life is gonna go, I think I'm okay with that.”

With a short laugh, Ellis reached up to kiss him, rubbing his thumb along Nick's jaw. “Love you, city boy.”

[silhouettica]

Disclaimer: image shown above is not mine; source is linked to the image.

____________

It’s been a long time since I’ve written an anime review, but this one is too well-deserved to pass up.

I tend to have a love-hate relationship with the sports-shounen genre in the manga industry. On one hand, good quality stories have great characters, undeniably well-drawn images, and okay storylines... but--- technique-wise, there was just too much suspension-of-disbelief required to go on reading.

Take for instance, Kuroko no Basuke and the legendary Phantom Sixth Man who is capable of magically disappearing in court; or, there’s Prince of Tennis and the gravity-defying non-arc path that their tennis balls traverse -- OR do not traverse, as do those which avoid the Tezuka zone. Basically, most popular and long-running sports genre mangas have a tendency to go borderline fantasy in many elements, or otherwise tend to sport some rarely-seen-in-a-thousand-years genius to spice up the story, which is understandably unrealistic (after all, this is fiction we’re reading). But perhaps, after almost two decades of watching anime and reading manga, my personal preference is now leaning towards the comfort provided by the slice-of-life genre, and against typical expectations, there’s that lingering desire to taste the slice of life in a sports manga...

Enter: Haikyuu.

Haikyuu was already a famous anime when I heard that it revolved around volleyball. When I heard that, the first question that occurred to me was, How much plot can be formed around such a sport as volleyball? Don’t get me wrong -- I’ve only ever been involved in two fields of sports: one is track and field, and the other is volleyball, so I at least like the sport. But since we’re used to being exposed to mangas centering around basketball or some martial arts, a story revolving around volleyball was foreign territory. But it was already famous, and with fame comes expectations --- thus, for fear of suffering from failed expectations, I deferred, or more like skipped out on Haikyuu.

But, well, with FB Watch capable of being a demonic source of temptation, Haikyuu showed up in my Watch Feed, and poof! - I was hooked. Manga was finished in less than a few weeks, and episodes repeatedly watched on FB (still ongoing, haha). In my personal list of top mangas, it has far surpassed even One Piece. It’s that good.

What’s so attractive about Haikyuu is that above being refreshing character and plot-wise, it was also obviously painstakingly created with so much attention to detail, in terms of the technical aspects of volleyball. I mean, just watch the videos contrasting Haikyuu to real-life volleyball matches - there’s almost no difference to be seen. The accuracy is admirable. In this regard, suspension of disbelief is very minimized --- well, except for the repeated overtime in matches; but if they stuck to the usual 15 or 25pt matches, we wouldn’t have much screentime to make a viable story, now, would we? So it’s an understandable adjustment to accommodate for the sake of cultivating the story.

Beyond this, Haikyuu boasts of a roster of interesting and complex characters littered throughout the storyline. Honestly, I can’t hate any single one of them. Your heart would go out to every character in every team. It’s amazing how the mangaka depicted each character differently, with all their bias and flaws, besides their refreshingly non-OP strengths, all combined to portray each individual’s humanity. And gah, when they’re made to mix together - the rapport between and amongst such variety of personalities is just fascinating to behold. And then comes character development - whoosh. How one person’s evolution affects the quality of a team’s mixture is another feast to behold. So much respect for this mangaka for bringing to life such abundance of quality complex characters. Seriously. Shounen x Sports x Slice of life + epic ups and downs + epic ending arc (MOST SATISFYING ENDING TO SPORTS GENRE EVER).

This is plain epic.

At first glance, any reader/follower would be drawn to the main characters - there’s Kageyama, Hinata, Ushijima, Oikawa, etc., all those OP-level players (or at least potentially so, for Hinata). 

Well, Hinata is the main character, as the story is dominantly affected by his actions and skill development. Watching his character growth is a treat, in and of itself. Seriously. Hinata may be boke at times, but isn’t really stupid. He’s just less-skilled than others (understandably so, given his lack of experience), but he more than makes up for it with his bottomless enthusiasm. And that innocence... Kawaii~. His love for the game is just contagious. Freakin’ want to buy a volleyball just to start playing on my own.

Kageyama may be called a genius setter, but really, he’s far from being the complete package. And he’s one of the more complex characters that really steals your heart. Like Hinata, he just overflows with love for the game, but his innocence is of a different level. After being shown his blindspot, he tempers his snobbishness, and literally BEGS for help --- I mean, look how he bows to Tsukishima for help in acads, or towards his senior Oikawa, in order to improve in volleyball. He’s mostly snobbish only towards those who don’t do their best (besides being just plain socially awkward). But he’s a very good kouhai, and it’s especially touching how he and Hinata paved the way for Asahi’s attack against Date Tech. I appreciate that he’s not so OP-level that he didn’t need anyone to improve -- he was helped by their coach, he was helped by Oikawa, there’s his senpais guiding him somewhat, etc. He’s not the Echizen-type who can learn on his own. He has so many blindspots, but he listens and asks for help once he’s shown that they exist.

There are a wealth of other characters worth mentioning, but recently, when I think of relating to the characters, what I easiest to resonate with are Yamaguchi and Ennoshita. Tsukki is another runner-up, being one who’s overly phlegmatic, with a defeating inferiority complex, but with a taste for vengeance... Bokuto’s answer to his existential question on why they play volleyball was very insigtful --- you don’t enjoy volleyball probably because you suck in it. HAHAHA. Isn’t that true for all of us - how we superficially hate some things when actually it’s because we just aren’t good at them. But at the very least, Tsukishimi Kei has so many qualities that puts him above others, it’s hard to compare oneself to him. On the other hand, there’s Yamaguchi the one-trick pony and Ennoshita the returning quitter. Sometimes I think of quitting when the academic “training” gets tough, but coming to think of Yama, I’m reminded that this is my one sword. The only reason he enters the court is as a pinch server - apart from that, there’s nothing else. So if he gets cold feet and settles for an easy serve, he forfeits the right to enter the court. If he lets go of the jump float serve, he has nothing else. Similarly, there’s Ennoshita who actually quit the team, but returned because the comfort became uncomfortable... I dunno if I’m the only one who’se quit in at least one point of my life, and took an easy way out or through something, but Ennoshita’s lesson is true for all of us - we’d regret quitting. Quitting is a no-go.

Anyway, I can’t describe all the other characters, else, this would be too long. But it’s just so amazing how Haruichi Furudate was able to create so many complex characters, each with their own backstories (okay, unrealistically, no sob stories here since this isn’t a drama) and no antagonist to hate, but the story was was just so complete and wholesome. I mean, take the Nekoma team, for one - they’re supposed to be Karasuno’s biggest rival, but they’re the ones who gave them a fighting chance to improve. Sportsmanship really dwells high on this one. Bokutooo, that once-spoiled ace... Oikawa, that snobbish great king who only recognized Kageyama as his junior when talking to Ushijima... The side characters who made up each respective team’s coaching, managerial, and cheer squad... There’s just so many personalities to admire and be thankful to the author for.

Haikyuu is truly a story about volleyball --- it’s not a story about inter-high, it’s not a story about high school; rather it’s a story that explores the different aspects surrounding volleyball - from childhood, as between friends, to high school and inter-high competitions, to the coaches and managers and trainings behind the scenes, to (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!) in-house vs. beach volleyball, to a professional career and international competitions. It’s really volleyball in different seasons of lives of a variety of people.

One poignant fact is that for most people, playing sports would be limited to high school. After inter-high, teammates would separate and a new team will be formed, year after year. That’s why it’s so precious how (SPOILER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!) the manga showed the fanatic-highchoolers-turned-professional players being watched by their previous volleyball teammates and competitiors --- something I’ve never seen in other sports mangas (which mostly had to do with players getting some injury, going to rehab and recuperating, and so). Previous teammates faced each other as competition, and previous rivals became comrades. It’s just. so. epic.

Anyway, thank you,  Haruichi Furudate-san. May the anime remain top-notch in quality. Viva Haikyuu!!

[whattodowithace]

Title: The Babysitter

Pairing: Byeongkwan x Reader

Writer: Whattodowithkpop [Lio]

Genre: Fluff; Slight Angst

Word Count: 2205

Summary: Byeongkwan took a job as a babysitter, but this wasn’t what he was expecting to happen.

A/N: This is based off the Kdrama ‘My Little Baby’. It’s not exactly dad!ace but I hope you enjoy it none the less.

*****

"Bold of you to assume I'm cut out for this." Byeongkwan glares at Jun, holding an ad in his hand seeking help for a babysitter.

"You need the job, plus you're like a kid yourself, you'll do fine." Jun laughs at the deadpan expression on Byeongkwan's face.

Jun was right. Byeongkwan needed the job, and Jun happened to know someone who was in search of a babysitter. Byeongkwan had never babysat anything in his life, but when you’re pinched for cash you’ll take anything.

“Fine.” Byeongkwan agrees, smoothing out the paper in his hands to read the details.

Byeongkwan dialed the number nervously, doubts upon doubts entering his mind. The phone rang a few times, Byeongkwan letting out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in, thinking he'd luck out without having to actually respond.

Unfortunately for him, she picked up on the last ring, a soft, feminine voice saying hello over the line. Byeongkwan's throat dried suddenly, nerves surging through him.

Jun nods his head at the younger, his eyes wide as he told him to speak through gestures.

The phone's voice asks if anyone was there.

"Yes!" Byeongkwan blurts out, wincing at his own voice. "Sorry, I was just calling about the babysitting ad."

"Oh yes!" She exclaims through the phone. "That's great. Can we set up an interview?"

Byeongkwan took a moment to respond, shocked at her forwardness. "Sure.. Yea, that's fine." He stutters.

The woman introduces herself, asking for his name.

"My name is Byeongkwan." He smiles, feeling more comfortable the more he talks with her, realizing she truly was as nice as Jun said she was. "I'm a friend of Park Junhee."

"Little Park Junhee?" She squeals in excitement, making Byeongkwan laugh.

"He's not so little." Byeongkwan smirks at Jun who looks at him with a shocked expression.

She laughs, bringing Byeongkwan back to her. "That's great! I'll text you after I get off work and we can work out an interview time."

"Okay, that sounds good." Byeongkwan agrees, the pair saying their goodbyes before hanging up.

"That sounded good!" Jun cheers as the two boys continue walking to meet up with the rest of the group.

"I hope the interview goes well." Byeongkwan nods.

Jun gives him a look, an eyebrow raised. "You were so hesitant just a minute ago."

Byeongkwan rolls his eyes. "Mothers are usually very strict and terrifying when it comes to their kids, of course I was nervous. But she sounds nice!"

Jun nods, his thoughts running wild as they approached their destination.

~

Byeongkwan received a text from his new possible employer. A time for an interview that he was currently waiting at as his hands rubbed together nervously.

He hadn't met the mom or the child he'd be babysitting, which only made his nerves worse as he knocked on the apartment door. He hears a faint 'I'm coming' before loud footsteps approach the door. The door swings to reveal a young woman, a woman much younger than Byeongkwan was prepared for.

"You must be Byeongkwan." She smiles warmly as she invites him in.

Byeongkwan's nerves skyrocket as he walks into the apartment.

"It's nice to meet you." Byeongkwan bows. "In.. In person, I mean."

She giggles at his nervousness, offering him a drink and inviting him to sit down. He does watching her as she prepared some water for the both of them.

"I have to confess." She starts as she sits next to him, handing him a glass. "I called Junhee's sister to ask about you. She and Junhee both had only good things to say about you."

"Oh." Byeongkwan nods, sipping his water lightly.

"They said you're really good with kids." She says. "Haneul is really a good kid, I wouldn't ask someone to watch him if he wasn't."

"I'm glad to hear that." Byeongkwan smiles. "Can I meet him?"

"He's not home right now." She tells him. "He's with his dad this weekend."

Byeongkwan nodded.

"How about we talk about the job some more?" She asks, Byeongkwan agreeing.

The two discuss terms and requirements for some time. Byeongkwan was surprised how forward she was, telling him she wanted someone that would stay a long time so that Haneul wouldn't have to get used to different sitters. She was generous about it and kind with all of Byeongkwan's concerns. With each question asked and answered, the likelihood of him getting hired skyrocketed. And by the end of the interview, that's exactly what happened.

"Byeongkwan." She catches his attention just before he leaves. "Thank you so much, I really appreciate it."

Byeongkwan smiles, some small amounts of excitement bubbling through him. "Of course."

~

It really didn't take long for Byeongkwan and Haneul to get close. Haneul was as good as his mom said he was, hardly ever giving Byeongkwan trouble. The two of them would play around a lot. Byeongkwan worried Hanuel's mom would get upset the first time she came home and they were messing around with nerf guns. However, she just laughed and made the two dinner. Overall, the dynamics of all relationships were good. Byeongkwan and Haneul got along and played until she got home, she often made them both dinner and Byeongkwan was able to have good conversations with her. Everything had been pleasant and happy! Until the day the papers came.

Haneul's parents were still married up to this point, but the day she received the divorce papers was a glum day. Byeongkwan didn't know much about Haneul's dad, but he knew every time she talked to him she would grow sad and distant. Byoengkwan knew he probably shouldn't have felt a twinge of anger, but he did every time he heard about Haneul's dad.

He hated seeing her and Haneul sad. He hated that the father made them sad. It wasn't until the papers came that he realized how much he started to care for the two of them. As he watched her wipe away the stray tears that fell from her eyes his heart twisted in hurt and anger. Byeongkwan was angry that her ex husband had made her cry. He did his best to distract Haneul from seeing his mom upset, continuing the game of battleship they had started. He was playing the game, but his mind wasn't fully focused on it. He watched as she made dinner, her shoulders slumped as she continually ran her fingers through her hair. Byeongkwan had the sudden urge to comfort her and tell her it was going to be okay. But he was just the babysitter, there was nothing he could do except try to keep Haneul occupied and happy.

She made a quick dinner, not feeling up to making the long meal she usually did. She ate quietly, only speaking when she wanted to keep Haneul conversing about his day. She smiled at him, but Byeongkwan saw the sadness behind it.

They ate quickly before she asked Haneul to go play with the kids across the hall. Haneul nodded as he went, it was often that he went to play with them after dinner, so it was nothing out of the ordinary. She waited before Haneul closed the door before she sighed heavily.

"You don't have to say anything." Byeongkwan breaks the silence, watching some small tears fall over her cheeks.

"Sorry you had to see me cry." She laughs quietly, hoping to lighten the situation.

"It's okay." Byeongkwan tentatively reaches a hand out to her hand, holding it gently. "It's stressful, don't feel bad for crying."

She was able to keep from sobbing, but she was exhausted and Byeongkwan could tell.

"I wanted to ask if you could watch Haneul on Saturday." She starts, looking into his eyes. His heart breaking as he saw them filled with tears. "That's the court date."

"Of course I can watch him." Byoengkwan nods, smiling widely in the hopes it would make her feel better.

"You've been a life saver, Byeongkwan." She looks down laughing again to keep from crying.

Byeongkwan's heart picks up speed at her words as she wipes the tears away.

"Haneul adores you." She looks up with a tearful smile.

"I adore him too." Byeongkwan admits, his mouth wanting to say he adored her as well, but knew it wasn't the time for that.

She smiles a genuine smile. "I'm glad."

~

That had been weeks ago. It wasn't the last time Byeongkwan witnessed her tears and with each one that fell, his heart fell harder for her. His anger grew hotter against the man that used to be her husband when he stated he wanted nothing to do with Haneul. Haneul was saddened, but he was okay. Unbeknownst to Byeongkwan, Haneul liked Byeongkwan more and was more worried of him leaving him than his dad.

Byeongkwan wasn't going to leave, though. He wanted to protect them both. He grew to love them, but he was worried it would only complicate things. Not only was he younger than her, but he was the babysitter.

He had vented to Jun about it hundreds of times, Byeongkwan frustrated about the whole thing. Jun always told him the same thing.

"If you don't make a move you'll regret it forever."

"But when is the right time?"

Byeongkwan still didn't know the answer to that question. He had hoped the right moment would present itself, but it never did. He feared he would never make his move because he was too cowardice.

~

It was a late evening, one like countless others they had spent together. The three were eating dinner, Haneul telling his mom about his day as usual. It was no secret where Haneul had gotten his boldness from, his mom had exhibited it on countless occasions. But neither one of them were prepared for the bold statement that came from his mouth.

"I had fun today, Dad." His eyes trained on Byeongkwan.

Byeongkwan's eyes widened as Haneul's stared into them.

"Hanel l, I'm... not your... dad." Byeongkwan stated carefully, hoping not to hurt his feelings in any way.

"I know." Haneul nods, a wide smile on his face. "But, you treat me like the other dads treat their kids."

Byeongkwan looks up to her, his face held a shocked expression as his gaze fluttered between the two.

She stared at Byeongkwan, a thousand feelings rushing over her. She had never payed much attention to how Byeongkwan had treated Haneul, she just knew they got along. But after Haneul's statement, she begin to look back, recognizing the signs. Her mind ran a mile a minute as it processed Haneul's words and Byeongkwans actions up to this point. Now when she looked at Byeongkwan, her heart picked up, joy flooding to it as she realized how wonderful he had been not only to Haneul, but to her also.

"Haneul honey, do you want to play with the kids across the hall?" She asks him, her eyes only leaving Byeongkwan for a second.

Haneul sighs as he gets off his chair. "I know why you send me there after dinner." He trudges to the door, his final statement causing Byeongkwan to choke on air and for her to gasp. "I know what moms and dads do together."

Haneul closes the door, leaving the two in an awkward silence.

It's a few moments before she breaks it. "I don't know where that came from."

"It's fine." Byeongkwan waves his hands in front of him frantically.

Byeongkwan's eyes drop to his lap where he twiddles his thumbs. She watches him quietly, trying to find her next words.

"You treat Haneul like your own son." She states, Byeongkwan lifting his head to look into her eyes.

"He's a really good kid." Byeongkwan admits with a small smile. "I hope I have a son like him one day."

"And you treat me..." She continues, Byeongkwan tensing as he waits for her next words with baited breath. "You treat me like a loving husband would treat his wife."

Byeongkwan gulps nervously, his eyes darting back to his hands.

"Why didn't I notice sooner?" She asks herself, a smile breaking out on her face.

She stands to approach Byeongkwan, grabbing his face gently to make him look at her.

"Why didn't I notice sooner?" She whispers as she looks down at Byeongkwan.

"You... I just..." Byeongkwan stumbles over his words, his voice shaky as he feels the warmth of her hands cover his cheeks.

"I want to protect you. Both of you."

She smiles at him, bringing his lips to hers in a soft kiss, first of many to come for the couple.

~

The woman from across the hall welcomes the young boy into her home, her own sons coming out to play with him.

"My mom and dad are at it again." He states dramatically.

"Mom and dad?" The mother asks with confusion, knowing about her neighbors recent divorce.

"Yea, they're doing what mom and dads do." He sighs, again, dramatically.

"What do moms and dads do?" She asks him, her confusion only growing.

He leans on his tip toes, beckoning her down with his hand.

"They kiss." He whispers in her ear, going off to play with his friends.

[autumnsart22]

Oikawa x Reader ch. 4

I had no idea what to do. 

It had been three weeks since I joined Aoba Johsai, and things were starting to fall into a rhythm. I went to class, and although the school was larger than I was used to, I easily stayed on top of all the work despite getting extra to catch up. I visited Karasuno as often as I could, almost twice a week to see the whole team. Also, Kiyoko’s house was closer to Aoba Johsai than my own, so I used the excuse to sleep over there almost every night. 

But despite that, I was bored and lonely. Studying wasn’t enough to keep me occupied, and now that I wasn’t the manager of Karasuno, I had large amounts of extra time with nothing to fill it. 

Such was the case on the Saturday morning after the second week at Aoba Johsai. Kiyoko was at a practice game against one of the other schools in the Miyagi prefecture, and I had already finished most of my homework. I had decided to pull out some of my old sketchbooks from under my bed, which had grown dusty from me not using them, deciding to try and pick back up my old hobby.

I’d stopped all kinds of art a few years ago, after my parents had a sit down talk with me about success. Before that, I had imagined that maybe I could make a bit of money by designing logos or web pages for businesses and companies, but my parents made it clear that would never be an option. 

But I was bored now, so the sketchbooks were laid out on the table and the pencils were sharpened. Unfortunately, I was a perfectionist who was out of practice and without any inspiration. I ended up breaking two of my nice pencils out of frustration, and decided to go on a run to cool my head. 

It was pretty early in the morning, only 8:30, and mist lay heavy in the air. It was good weather for running, cold enough that I wasn’t overheating as I jogged. 

I definitely wasn’t the most athletic person, although I wasn’t out of shape either. My body was curvy, not particularly muscly in any way, but I wasn’t fat. I had major body insecurities like every other girl in existence, but I had been working on it to try and like myself better recently. 

Either way, I was out of breath after only a few minutes of running, but I kept a steady pace, and focused on the rhythm of the music pounding through my headphones instead of the pain in my side. 

After jogging for almost twenty minutes through town, I finally allowed myself to slow to a walk as I approached a street. The road was busy, so I hit the button for the crosswalk and gave myself a minute of recovery. 

I almost jumped out of my skin as a voice spoke from behind me out of the blue. 

“Hey there, are you the new student at Aoba Johsai?” 

I turned and felt my heart practically stop. The boy that stood a foot away was tall with messy brown hair falling around his head, his figure lean with muscle but not very bulky. He was one of the prettiest people I had ever seen. I guessed that he had been on a run too, but unlike me, he didn’t look the slightest bit out of breath. 

“Oh um,” I realized I had forgotten to respond. “Yes I am. Do I know you?”

“Nope. Not yet,” He smirked, and I fought a blush. What was with this guy? 

“Uh, ok. Well I have to go…” Thankfully, the light turned, and I awkwardly turned away. He didn’t say anything, but I could feel him watching me as I jogged across the street and headed back home. 

That night, I sat on Kiyoko’s bed, legs across her lap. Apparently Karasuno had lost the practice match, but only by two points. The team was improving all the time, with every practice and every game. 

According to Kiyoko, the boys had been upset that I wasn’t allowed to come to the practice game, which made me feel a bit happy. It was nice to be missed. 

“What did you do today?” Kiyoko asked, glasses flashing as she leaned over to plug her phone into a charger. 

“Literally nothing. Went for a run, attempted and failed at drawing, finished my homework.” I sighed. I didn’t mention the boy I had run into while I was out, but I had been thinking about the awkward encounter the whole day, each time making me more and more embarrassed. I had definitely been rude. I hadn’t even asked for his name! 

He hadn’t asked for mine either, I reminded myself, but at least he had talked like a normal person. I had just stuttered, which I always did when I got uncomfortable. Ah well. 

“Y/n-san, you should become Seijoh’s manager.” 

At first I wasn’t sure I heard her right. “Huh?” Kiyoko sighed, pushing up her glasses. “You love volleyball just as much as me, and clearly you’re going out of your mind with boredom. I think it would be good for you.” 

“But-but Aoba Johsai is in direct competition to Karasuno! They’re our enemy!” 

Kiyoko rolled her eyes. “Y/n, honestly. That’s not an excuse for you not to join. Yeah, you’ll probably have to play against us, but it's not like you’ll become our enemy.” 

I sighed, shoulders slumping. “Maybe I’ll just go to a practice and see what the team is like, and decide from there.”

My friend shrugged and nodded. “That sounds good. You have to tell me how it goes.” 

    ✨✨✨✨

On Monday, I went to the front office to ask about Seijoh’s volleyball club. Apparently they met after school for two hours every weekday except for Monday, as well as every other Saturday. It was a lot, but Karasuno did even more, so I knew I would be able to handle it. 

I had to ask a few people for directions about how to get to the gym, but I managed to get there before practice had officially started. I could hear shoes squeaking on the floor when I arrived, which made me pause. I hated being the only new person, especially when entering such a tight knit group like a volleyball team. My social anxiety always made things awkward. 

I took a deep breath, reminding myself that the boys would most likely be too busy to notice me, and I just had to go talk to the coach. 

I shoved open the doors, sliding into the gym and quickly surveying the space. It was way bigger than Karasuno’s gym, the equipment clearly better quality due to their higher budget. 

I expected a few of the team members to be there early, maybe doing simple spikes against the wall to warm up. Unfortunately for me, the entire team was already dressed and gathered around the coach. As the gym doors slammed closed behind me, they all looked over as I walked in. 

I felt all the blood rush to my face, and I awkwardly crossed my arms and stood off to the side as the coach finished talking. I noticed a few of the boys muttering to each other and gesturing at me, which only made my stomach twist. Thankfully, the coach sent them on lunging laps pretty quickly, which kept them from hanging around. 

“Oikawa, not you!” The coach yelled, gesturing at one of the boys. “Your knee isn’t fully healed yet and I don’t want you to reinjure it.” 

Oikawa, the team captain and setter, I remembered. The arrogant one that Kageyama didn’t like. My mouth fell open when he turned around. 

It was the same guy from my run, who had asked me if I was the new student. I felt my entire body tense, and I quickly looked away from him. Damn, this had been a bad idea. 

“Aw coach, come on! At least let me do something,” Oikawa said, practically pouting. 

“You can do some stretches over there,” the coach said with an annoyed look.

The setter grinned, and then he looked at me. His eyebrows went up in surprise as he recognized me, and I smiled awkwardly before quickly turning towards the coach. No need to interact more than necessary. 

“Hi, can I help you?” The coach was looking at me imploringly, and I quickly bowed. 

“Yes, my name is Y/n L/n, and I was looking to see if you had any need of a new team manager. I have some experience from my last school, and I would love to get involved here.” 

The coach looked surprised, but then he smiled. “You have the most perfect timing. Our official team manager just quit, so we were looking for someone to take over. You would need to fill out some paperwork and figure out if you’re eligible, but if you want to stay for today and see how it fits, that would work out great.”

“Ok! Thank you so much.”

“Of course. I’m Coach Nobuteru, and over there is our team captain, Oikawa Toru. Oikawa!” 

I turned around, only to see the tall setter making his way over to us. He grinned down at me, eyes trailing over my body and back up. “Hi again, new girl.” “Oikawa,” the coach said. “This is Y/n L/n. She’s looking to become our new team manager.” Coach Nobuteru spoke for me, and I bowed quickly. 

“It’s nice to meet you officially, Y/n-kun.” Oikawa said, bowing back. He looked clearly surprised that I was looking into the manager position, which annoyed me a bit. I wondered what he thought of me. 

“Yes, it’s nice to meet you as well, Oikawa-san.” 

“Oikawa, why don’t you get back to work?” Coach Nobuteru said after a moment.

The team captain nodded, smirking at me one more time before heading back over to where his team were finishing their laps. 

I watched the practice on the sideline with Coach Nobuteru, assessing the players and trying to determine who needed to work on what. I asked the coach a lot of questions about names and strengths, and he looked at me with new respect as he seemed to realize that I actually did have experience with volleyball. 

It was obvious that Oikawa knew his team extremely well, and I couldn’t help but admire the way he encouraged them, capitalizing on their strengths. They worked like a well oiled machine, unlike anything Karasuno had ever managed to do, even though I didn’t want to admit it. 

The strength between Iwaizumi Hajime, the team’s ace, and Oikawa was almost unbelievable. They knew what the other was intending without effort, and they seemed to work in sync to slam one quick attack after the other over the net. The only relationship I had seen that could compare was that of Hinata and Kageyama. 

At the end of the practice, Coach Nobuteru directed me to the club office, where I could get the paperwork to officially become the team manager. As I left the gym, I felt the best I had for a long time. The energy from watching the team play volleyball made me feel light and happy, like I had a purpose again. It was definitely nerve racking to have to learn the names, strengths and weaknesses, preferences, and relationships of the entire team, but it was also exciting. I would do my best to be as good a manager of Seijoh as I was of Karasuno. 

Chapter 3

Chapter 5

[phantom-of-nrc]

Hi, may i get a Twisted Wonderland matchup please?

I'm 5'6, virgo, infp, true neutral and my pronouns are she/her.

I have a dark skin tone, long purple hair, freckles on the cheeks and brown eyes. I can be both introverted and extroverted, it depends on the person I'm interacting with, for example with my friends i'm always cheerful, but with strangers i'm usually quiet and shy. I have a sarcastic sense of humor and i'm pretty chill in general; i'm also super clingy and i love giving hugs!

Another thing is that i don't have self esteem at all and i'm always negative about myself, buuut i'm trying to be more confident and positive, even if it's pretty difficult. I am never motivated to do anything, and when i have something important to do i always do it at the last minute, that's another bad habit that i should fix. I consider myself a good listener, and i'm happy to help the people i care about with they're issues, or cheer them up when they're sad, with good advices and a lot of affection. I really dislike crowded places, loud people and being the centre of attention; I also tend to overthink, and i daydream quite a lot. My main hobbies are napping, drawing, wasting time on social media and playing video games. Random things i like: sweets, pastel colors, listening to music 24/7, telling jokes (especially bad ones), drawing on rainy days and headpats. Sorry for the messy description, thank you very much for the matchup!!💞

-🎀

ℌ𝔬𝔴 ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔢?

🍀 Well, well! Looks like you’ve got the resident smug trickster big brother of Heartslabyul! You like sweets? Our dear Clover is just the right person for you! Riddle does rely on him whenever Unbirthday parties, tea parties and similar occasions that come up! As a bonus, *pats Trey’s head* this closet chaotic big brother of little siblings and Heartslabyul comes from a family that owns a bakery!

🍀 You like headpats? He’ll give you headpats. Now that I think about it.. You two might seem like one of those cute manga couples I see in Pinterest at first glance.. Being clingy and having a fondness for hugs, Trey wouldn’t mind it! He finds this trait of yours cute. Aren’t you two just a cute fluffy couple? Just make sure to prepare for Trappola’s teasing and Rook’s monologues of your beautiful relationship with Trey. The hunter’s bound to see your loving cuddle sessions and cute bonding moments with the Vice Dorm Leader of Heartslabyul.. Consider yourself dubbed as the Maiden of Roses by Rook! (In French, of course! One cannot trust shady translators...)

🍀 You like telling jokes? Trey likes to joke too! Except.. People tend to take him seriously when he was just joking.. Or is he..? The two of you are like.. The embodiment of types of bad jokes. Him being like the representative of jokes that just seems serious that people take him seriously and you being the representative of bad jokes that are bound to lure a fond smile from Trey’s lips. He can’t help it. You’re just so wholesome to him, especially when you tell bad jokes!

🍀 Of course, Trey is bound to find your hobby for drawing, especially once rain has decided to come and grace NRC with its presence. Trust me when I say, he’ll be curious of all the drawings you’ve drawn. However, the choice to show him your works or not is entirely up to you, whether you’re comfortable or not! If you decided to show him your drawings, he’d be delighted! He’d talk about your drawings with you, perhaps share some memories of his little siblings that drew for him back then. Perhaps one day, you’d be drawing something for Trey with the help of his little siblings.. If you’re comfortable with it, of course! If you’re not comfortable with showing your drawings, it’s alright!

🍀 Sarcastic sense of humor? Trey would definitely enjoy that! Perhaps it might lead to a light-hearted teasing between lovers! You’re napping? There comes our beloved Trey! He’d offer his uniform jacket/coat as a blanket for you, carry you somewhere more comfortable or just make sure you’re napping comfortably in general.

🍀 Seeing that you’ve mentioned about having no self-esteem, trying to gain confidence (honestly, we’re on the same boat in this one. Cheers!) Trey would be there by your side, helping you in your journey of finding your confidence! He’d be there to offer words of encouragements, give you a gentle nudge to take a step forward to finding confidence in yourself. Trey would be there for you in every step. Have faith in yourself, you’re worthy and you’re beautiful! Trey thinks so too. If you ever say anything negative about yourself, Trey would be there to say otherwise!

🍀 A bad habit of procrastination? That won’t do.. Whenever Trey catches you unmotivated, he’d try to provide motivation for you! How about once you finish the activity you’re supposed to do, he’d bake you something? What would you like? A pie? A tart? Make sure to brush your teeth afterwards though!

🍀 Trey wouldn’t really mind your dislike in crowds, loudness and being the center of attention. If anything, once he notices your discomfort, he’d try to excuse the two of you out of the area. Heartslabyul can be very lively with the parties.

🍀 Your caring and helpful nature would earn you a reputation as the mama or big sister figure among the people close to you, perhaps it wouldn’t be long until you and Trey would earn the reputation of fluffy couple.. Expect Ace Trappola to make a remark on how the two of you act like a happy married couple—

🍀 You being a Virgo and Trey being a Scorpio is a plus. Virgos and Scorpios are compatible!

𝔐𝔢𝔢𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤:

The Rose Kingdom. That was where the two of you had met. In his homeland.

  Whether a tourist or a local in his hometown, there was one thing that you’re sure of. The craving for something sweet. The sky above was clear and blue as the sun casted its warmth upon the world. It wasn’t too hot, nor too cold. The weather was perfect. It seems like today would be a good day to search for something to eat. And so, you set on a small journey to find either a bakery or a candy shop to buy sweets. 

  It didn’t take long until the smell of freshly baked pastries reached your sense of smell, beckoning you to find the source of the smell. And so you did. Following the smell of freshly-baked pastries, you found yourself in front of a cake shop. Looking through the windows of the cake shop, you found your craving for sweets grow stronger. The sweet smell of freshly-baked pastries matched the pleasing presentation of each baked products. From tarts to cakes, they all looked delicious. 

  Entering the cake shop, you found yourself walking towards the counter. There, you found an ivy-green haired man, his mustard yellow eyes locking with your brown eyes. A welcoming smile reached his lips as he welcomed you to his family’s cake shop.

“Welcome! Is there anything you’d like to order?”

Romance will soon bloom like a beautiful rose, and it’s all thanks to your shared affinity for sweets. To the smell of his baked pastries that beckoned your curiosity and craving.

[omgficrecsplease]

omgcp fanfic starter pack!

hi y’all! we here at omgficrecsplease have put together a quick, little check please! fanfic starter pack! all fics are sorted by pairings and we hope you enjoy! and be sure to check out all the recs we have posted here! have a wonderful day y’all! :D

Jack/Bitty

A Little Bit Closer by marswithghosts

E | 107,963 | Summary: Eric Bittle's To-Do List:

1.) Frame Masters in Library and Information Science diploma and send to Mama, because she never understood the lack of sleep and abuse of caffeine, but she sent cookbooks and money for good chocolate, bless her. 2.) Throw away every last highlighted article, graded paper, and syllabus, because they are no longer needed, thank the sweet Lord. 3.) Promote the library's new periodic reading series, because it wasn't the capstone project for nothing. 4.) Harass Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann into taking a picture for @BPLWestEnd to promote the reading of his new children's book, Jacky's Bad Days. 5.) Do not ogle Boston Bruins star Jack Zimmermann's ass. 6.) Fail step five. Repeatedly.

Ice Crew Please! by rosepetals42  

T | 61,433 | Summary: Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

maybe i'm waking up by idrilka

M | 157,904 | Summary: It’s almost funny. All he ever wanted was to play hockey, to play in the NHL, to win the Cup. This—Samwell, the team, the Haus—was supposed to be just a detour, but now it feels more like a destination he failed to realize he’s already reached.

(Or: Jack signs with the Falconers, graduates, and leaves. It's the hardest thing he's ever done. What comes after is even harder.)

self reflection by sinspiration

T | 29,218 | Summary: Bitty is in Annie’s, bent over his textbooks and wondering, not for the first time, why he decided to take French as a language (oh yes, it’s because so many old recipes are written in French, he’s going abroad there to study food history, can’t wait for the summer; half of fall and then winter semester until he goes, but that doesn’t help him now does it), when he hears someone clear their throat. “Excuse me, is this seat taken?” Oh boy. Eric doesn’t even bother lifting up his head. “Sorry, not a girl and not interested.”

Something Like This by emmagrant01

E | 285,748 | Summary: Jack thought his first year in the NHL would be 100% about hockey, but the reality is so much more complicated. (AU where the Goodbye for the Summer comics didn’t happen, because I had already written 80K words of this. But just because it’s canon doesn’t mean we can’t still enjoy long, angsty, get-together stories, amirite?)

Alternate summary, courtesy of Dracavia: What if Bad Bob didn't say anything at graduation?

Nursey/Dex

a service i can render by miastree

T | 73,484 | Summary: (11:48) Hey Bits are you free on Saturday? I want to go and see a movie or something (12:09) damn right im free (12:09) this is america

Dex wonders if the person that keeps ceaselessly texting him at all hours is at all interested in legitimate conversation or if his life is, genuinely, that boring. He keeps replying anyway, because for some reason, the appeal of a clumsy, nosy, ex-hockey-playing ballet dancer that types in all lower case happens to be greater than he first thought.

Standing right outside my door by eleanor_lavish 

M | 5,594 | Summary: “I’ve been doing holidays alone for years, bro. I mean, I spent more holidays at Andover than in New York.”

Dex’s fingers tighten on the steering wheel. He kind of really hates Nursey’s parents right now, even though he’s never met them. He wants to yell at Nursey about this ridiculous chill he has going on, about how it’s fucked up, ask how he’s not just pissed off all the fucking time, but he looks over and Nursey’s eyes are still closed, and he’s curled in on himself in the seat. “Yeah, well. Not this year,” he says firmly.

I Know I Am, But What Are You? by sysrae

E | 19,322 | Summary:  “I need you,” says Dex, “to be my fake date at my family Christmas. Please.”

“Cool,” says Nursey, mouth operating on Chill Autopilot while his higher brain functions come to a screeching halt. “I can do that.”

Bitty/Jack/Kent

touchy subject by applecrumbledore 

E | 49,578 | Summary: Bitty finds a photo booth strip and almost doesn't recognize Jack because he's not sure he's ever seen him grin off-ice before, and his hair is so long it curls around his ears, and he's so, so young. It takes Bitty a few long seconds to realize the boy he's kissing is Kent Parson, with the same backwards cap and everything.

I Watched It Begin Again by jacksbits (fragilehuge)

E | 19,979 | Summary: Kent hits on a stranger at a party. Except the party is at Jack’s house and the stranger is Bitty. It’s not Kent’s smoothest move.

Infinity, Plus One by SummerFrost

E | 75,577 | Summary:  Eric Bittle hoped to find a lot of things at Samwell University, but being caught in the cross-fire between his surly captain, Jack Zimmermann, and his friendly-but-moody alternate captain, Kent Parson, was certainly not one of them.

Ransom/Holster

Five Things Adam Birkholtz Learns in HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships by EllyAvon

T | 6,079 | Summary: HDFS 332: Healthy Couple Relationships is just the night class Holster is taking with Lardo to fulfill one of his core requirements. He doesn't expect it to drastically change his life.

OR: The Weirdest Healthy Relationships PSA Ever.

OR: Wholesome Holsom

In a Different Frame by sunfair

E | 4,853 | Summary: Holster is determined to become somebody's boyfriend. Too bad he's kind of an idiot. He figures it out, though.

someone as good for me as you by astrolesbian

T | 7,056 | Summary: “So tell me,” Justin’s mother says, all business, “is your boy going to propose?”

“What, Jack?” Justin says, and doesn’t really think much of it, because his mother eats up the details of Jack and Bitty and JackandBitty like Holster eats up rom-coms.

His mother sighs, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes. “No, baby, I meant Adam.”

Shitty/Lardo

Exeunt, Pursued By Heteronormativity by psocoptera

M | 35,786 | Summary: Shitty Knight takes a post-graduation road trip. Four friends, six thousand miles, two tents, several embarrassing photos, a giant rabbit, three cops, and a bear.

Jack/Kent

It's a Good Life If You Don't Weaken by garden of succulents (staranise)

E |  33,373 | Summary: Making it through the draft is just the beginning.

Kent and Jack are on different teams at opposite ends of the continent. They're living up to huge expectations. They're not supposed to show pain. And not everything they do to get by is precisely healthy.

Fortunately, they're not totally alone.

right on time by leetlebird

T | 49,428 | Summary: Eric Bittle doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to dating, but even he’s embarrassed for himself when he starts flirting on Tinder with a guy who has a weird cat obsession, abs so perfect they border on trashy, and DL in his profile.

Eric Bittle also hates the office finance guy, Kent Parson, more than is probably healthy to hate one of your coworkers.

These two things are in no way related.

Or, the You’ve Got Mail AU that had to be written.

didn't ask for you by Mizzy

M | 24,702 | Summary: Kent Parson has well over ninety-nine problems. He has a chronic potty mouth, a sneaking suspicion he may be an actual idiot, a narcissistically-named cat with gas issues, too many sisters... the list goes on.

Kent Parson has more than ninety-nine problems and Jack Zimmermann — freshly, resentfully and recently traded to the Las Vegas Aces — is definitely one of them.

Gen

Chime Hours by MarquisdeHockey (SpacePunkStevie) (note: it’s tagged for ships but it’s firmly gen)

M | 54,811 | Summary: Back in Montreal, not long before the draft, Jack had died. But only for a bit.

The witch he'd met there had very kindly saved his life, so he was inclined to forgive him any small oversight. For instance, the lack of instruction manual or, perhaps, the fact that he'd neglected to mention Jack's new psychic powers.

So he kept his head down. Played hockey. Tried to navigate old friends and new teammates. And, occasionally, he'd have to go and stop a death he'd seen coming like he was some sort of conscientious banshee. What he absolutely didn't want to do was to solve any mysteries or delve any deeper into the whole magic... thing.

Series

Best Laid Plans by Euphorion

E | 18,596 | Summary: "Dude," said Holster, his eyes huge, "that's so sad. We gotta get them together."

"This isn't a romcom, Holtzy," Ransom said, patting his arm. "I'm sure that's not what Shitty had in mind."

"Actually," said Shitty, "that's exactly what I had in mind. And I've got a plan."

[the-bounce-back]

YOU DESERVE ACCOLADES!

For those of you that don’t know, I’ve finally started my dream job in London after a long time of umming and ahhing. It’s still very early days, but so far everything is going amazingly well - I’m being challenged, I get to work with something I actually care about, and I’m finally being valued as a human being and not being treated like an imbecile despite doing most of the work. Shade definitely intended.

As I’m still getting used to actually enjoying going to work in the morning, I’ve been reflecting a lot on the process I had to get through to even get to this point. I had to get through three phone interviews, trek all the way from Nottingham to London for two separate face-to-face interviews and two one-hour online assessments. The whole recruitment process ended up taking two months.

Two. Whole. Months.

Of course, I was applying for multiple other jobs in the meantime because I’m not a simpleton. I went for a few face-to-face interviews and had loads of phone interviews, whilst secretly hoping that this job would work out. After a while I clocked that I really, really needed it to - because all I was getting from other jobs were endless rejections.

Even the best of us would get disheartened from constantly hearing “no” all the time. I became so immensely riddled with self-doubt and anxiety that I almost withdrew my application, cancelled the whole move to London and was fully prepared to stay at my old job in Nottingham. However - when the momentary madness subsided - I realised that if I really and truly wanted this job, I’d have to change my whole outlook and approach. So I did, and… it worked. Obviously.  I want to share how I changed my thinking so hopefully someone else can be blessed like this, too!

I want to make clear that although I used these thought processes for the sake of acing my interview, it can definitely be applied to improving self-confidence in general, giving yourself constructive criticism and - most importantly - giving yourself the accolades you know you deserve. I think taking the following points into consideration will aid you in quickly nipping insecurities in the bud when they rear their ugly ass heads.

1. Force yourself to speak highly of yourself.

I feel like a lot of us - especially women - have been taught from a very young age to remain humble and modest, and that coming across as arrogant is immensely undesirable and considered almost rude. In theory, I agree with this - knowing when the appropriate time to speak up on your selling points is important - but I also think that these teachings have been blown out of proportion.

The unfortunate truth is that modern society literally feeds on our insecurities like leeches, and this has arguably resulted in a stigmatisation of people that display high amounts of self-confidence. We’ve all probably at some point in our lives looked at someone that shamelessly promotes themselves and been… offended, for lack of a better word. I can definitely admit that I’ve felt almost annoyed at people in the past, when they’ve entered my timeline with their businesses, creative side hustles, achievements etc. Definitely had the nerve to mutter “who the hell do you think you are?!” in disgust to myself.

Stop doing this.

As if they had a slightest ounce of interest in the negative opinions I had about the successes of the projects they had been grinding so hard for. How cute (pathetic).

I genuinely feel ashamed of myself for thinking like this now, but at least I have forced myself to start unlearning this kind of behaviour. Because if someone is genuinely confident in what they are doing, who am I to come and criticise them? Jealousy and bitterness are even worse traits than arrogance anyway, in my opinion - and confident people really couldn’t care less about what jealous people think of them putting themselves out there. Furthermore, people that allow themselves to be constrained by societal expectations regarding humility and modesty definitely end up blocking a lot of their own blessings...so I decided to join the winning team, and you should too.

If you have ever been to a standard job interview, you know that they will almost definitely ask you what your biggest strength and weakness is. I know for a fact that my biggest strength in my field is that I am exceptional at building a rapport with potential clients and maintaining positive professional relationships, and I was always praised for this at my old job. But since I was still figuring out the fine line between self-confidence and arrogance at the time, I found myself being extremely tentative in job interviews, starting sentences like:

“I think that I’m good at…”

“I could use some improvement, but I think I’m ok at…”

“I’m alright at…”

Disgusting and sauceless. No wonder I wasn’t hearing and good news back, to be honest - I feel that recruiters can smell insecurities from a mile away.

Luckily, by the time I got around to doing face-to-face interviews for this job I had already clocked that I was underselling myself, and made a conscious effort to not list my strengths following words like “I think”. Instead, I forced myself to start sentences with:

“I am exceptionally good at…”

“I definitely excel at…”

“I am very confident that I can…”

After each interview during the process - when the recruiter would call me and recap the interview and how I did - I always got the feedback that they were impressed with my assertiveness and self confidence (even if I did end up blurting out “not to be arrogant, but yeah” after most questions. Old habits die hard, I guess).

The bottom line is: you have to remove the fear of believing in yourself 100%. Because if you don’t, who else will?

2. Big up your achievements instead of focusing on your L’s.

If I had a penny for every time I cussed myself out for being 2% away from a distinction on my Masters degree, I’d literally not even have had to apply for this job. I’d be retired on a yacht somewhere in the Caribbean, laughing at all my broke friends having to work for a living. It still annoys me to this day, because I know exactly what I could’ve done to boost my final grade in the subject that dragged my GPA down. Internally kicks self.

However - I really could’ve used all this energy to instead focus on that I have two whole degrees. I slaved for four consecutive years and made it through alive and with (most of) my sanity intact. Plus, on top of that, I was fighting a lot of internal battles and issues, that very nearly pushed me to the point of dropping out.

But I didn’t. Because I’m a Boss Ass B*tch™.

I truly believe that many people would have folded if they had to go through the same things I was dealing with at the time, and reflecting on how resilient and strong I was when I was still going through it definitely makes those pesky 2% off my final grade seem insignificant - and this is exactly how you should regard your achievements in life.

Your achievements obviously don’t have to be academic; I’m just one of those people that likes to measure my success through receipts and certificates. The deal here is to truly reflect on everything you’ve done in life, and celebrate any and all obstacles you’ve overcome - and learn to do so without feeling that you’re coming across as arrogant. Because if you know that what you’re giving yourself praise for is true and you can back it up, you’re really just being confident in yourself and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you’re struggling to think of achievements, they can literally be anything - regardless of how small they may seem to you. Consider different aspects of your personal life that mean a lot to you - e.g. fitness, a hobby, your friends/family, your mental health - and try to break them down into different goals that you have reached, or are very close to reaching. For each achieved goal you can think of, give yourself an accolade.

Managed to improve your 5k running time? Accolade.

Finally got the promotion? Accolade.

Saved enough money to buy yourself something you’ve wanted for a long time? Accolade.

Overcome a mental health issue? Accolade.

Given birth to a healthy baby? Infinite accolades because...wow.

As previously said, it can be anything - it doesn’t necessarily have to be something that you can big up in a job interview. As long as reflecting on it fills you with pride and gives you a rightfully earned ego-boost, it counts. The goal is to become so (healthily) obsessed with celebrating your achievements and pushing yourself to do better, that you stop beating yourself up over mistakes and failures that you can’t do anything about and that are holding you back from appreciating your abilities.

In terms of job hunting, I often made the mistake of drawing the attention to that I was sOoOo close to getting a distinction, which might have affected my chances at getting other jobs. I don’t know why it always ended up coming up - I think I was subconsciously worried that I’d be labelled a fraud if they ended up hiring me based on my degree and later found out that I was *gasp* 2% off. But when I applied for this job, I made the conscious effort to place the focus on that I have two degrees, and on the knowledge that I got from them. I think that when they heard how mindblowingly intelligent I am, the grade didn’t even matter!

Finally, if you’re anything like me, your L’s usually aren’t even that big of a deal at the end of the day. No one gives as much thought to your mistakes as yourself - the severity of the mistake is almost always unnecessarily amplified in your head, usually because you’re obsessing over how you could’ve done things differently to avoid it. Once you let go of this obsession, and just learn to accept that what has happened has happened, I think it will be a lot easier to focus on the positives.

3. Acknowledge your areas of improvement.

Notice how I prefer to use the term “areas of improvement” as opposed to “weaknesses”. The word “weakness”, to me, means that there is something inherently wrong with someone that cannot be improved upon or changed - which is rarely ever the case.

As earlier discussed, anyone who has ever been to a job interview (like, ever) will know that the interviewer is guaranteed to ask what your biggest strength and biggest weakness is. If you’re anything like me - extremely self-critical and almost painfully self-aware - thinking of a “weakness” is probably quite easy, because chances are you’re thinking about them every day and trying your best to not let them get the best of you.

I have a method to deal with these areas of improvement that has greatly benefitted me in my private life, but I am also convinced that this approach is one of the main reasons why I ended up getting this new job. Hopefully you can use it for your self-improvement, too!

Basically, I start off by acknowledging the area of improvement. I’ll use the ones I brought up in my interview: the anxiety I get when doing presentations in front of industry/topic experts, as well as struggling to know when I should take a break from solving a problem.

When I say I’d rather die than do a presentation to senior management or take a break when I feel like I’m close to resolving an issue, people think I’m exaggerating. I really am not.

However - instead of simply stating that I’d rather perish than do these things - I took the time to consider where these feelings stem from. I definitely think that I suffer from impostor syndrome - meaning that I have this constant internalised feeling that I’ll be exposed as an impostor or fraud. Namely in an environment where I’m surrounded by experts that can smell bullsh*t from a mile away. Furthermore, I know that I become obsessed with minor details during projects and find it hard to tear away from it because I’m worried that I’ll lose my train of thought - when really, what I actually need is a break in order to come back to the project later with a fresh mind.

After finding out the root cause of the area of improvement comes what I consider the most important part: solutions to eliminate this area of improvement. For me, I was able to state that my fear of public speaking can be combated by preparing presentations long in advance and ensuring that I am extremely confident and knowledgeable of the material I am presenting. For my inability to tear myself away from work that I’m stuck on, I said that I am working on not being so hard on myself and allowing myself to take breaks to refresh my mind.

Of course, this process - acknowledging the issue → understanding the root of the issue → finding solutions to the issue  - can be applied to a lot of different instances in life. However, I feel that it is especially helpful in terms of self confidence and putting your best foot forward in a job interview scenario, mainly because it gives you an advantage over other interviewees: proof that you are a problem-solver.

See it this way - yes, being able to provide a few “weaknesses” shows that you are self-critical and self-aware, but also explaining on how you plan to overcome these weaknesses in the same breath? 

Whew. Amazing. The future CEO jumped out.

4. Make use of constructive criticism.

Although self-celebration and self-confidence starts with you, having supportive people on the same wavelength as you that genuinely want you to win comes as a close second place in terms of the most important things to have in your life. Regardless of if they are family or close friends, having people that see your drive, passion and hard work is extremely important - because it is these people that will be brutally honest with you and give you well needed kicks in the right direction on your off days.

Again, this really applies to anything you venture into, whether it’s a creative side hustle, hobby, new job, music, your own business...you get the point. Of course, whilst the praise and positivity is important as well, having those people that will tell you straight up when you need to do better for the sole purpose of them wanting to see you succeed is crucial - even when it’s hard to hear sometimes.

This blog is actually a perfect example - I always send the link to my friends + other people who I know will be honest with me in terms of feedback as soon as I post it, because I trust that what I hear back will be things that I can improve upon for future posts - and this is because I know they know how important this blog is to me. In terms of getting the job, my parents and a close friend of mine helped me with polishing my cv to perfection (mainly by telling me to “stop f*cking waffling about things that aren’t relevant to the role, Olivia!”) - and look where that got me!

To reiterate: surrounding yourself with people that won’t beat around the bush when giving you feedback on what you’re striving to achieve is one of the most important parts of succeeding in this life. Of course, you are capable to do it alone too, but having a support system makes it so much easier to tackle bad days. Usually because they’ll tell you to get your sh*t together and stop the crying.

(Of course, there are unfortunately people that will pretend to want what’s best for you while secretly hoping that you will fail. This is inevitable, especially when you’re doing big things in life. I’ll be doing a blog post about this at some point, but until then...apply sense. More time you know who these people are if you think about it.)

So, in conclusion - forcing yourself to be confident about your strengths, being unapologetically proud of your achievements so far, having an eagerness to improve your weaknesses and surrounding yourself with supportive people that are on the same wavelength as you are all imperative parts of you celebrating yourself and your accomplishments in life. I’ll definitely delve deeper into insecurities revolving around self-promotion at a later stage - but for now, hopefully you can take away some of the tips and apply them to acing an interview, presentation, first date, meeting your significant others’ parents… any situation that calls for a substantial amount of self-assurance and pride in who you are, really.

Good luck, I have confidence in you and you should, too!

Love

Liv

[scratchface]

A guide to making Yusaku not avoid you

aka Part 3 of the Yusaku character analysis

So, breakdawn-avenue asked, triggering this whole massive series: “have you ever received an ask about Yusaku’s character development? like the one you got for Revolver / Ryoken’s development? because I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that Yusaku, who was kind of pushing people away in season 1 (looking at Blue Angel and Go Onizuka, finds Naoki seemingly annoying as frigg), to not get in his way (of revenge), now accepts Takeru (all of a sudden, seemingly) allying with him to go after Haru’s group (and retrieve Jin’s conscious)”

We’ve covered Yusaku’s isolation and how he’s pretty much holding out for his special person, and we’ve covered who Yusaku is and why he’s like this. Now we’re finally ready to answer the question: why does Yusaku accept Takeru, when he’s never wanted to deal with the others? 

Well, Takeru did everything right, where the others goofed up. In actuality, for Yusaku, it was probably a no-brainer, and here’s why!

We already established Yusaku’s evolving approval and disapproval to involving others in his business, starting with his need to do things on his own to the accepting that others want to fight, to watching others fail, and the ultimate discarding of his hesitation and the no doubt uncomfortable knowledge that when if he’s asked to chose between his mission and a person’s life, he should chose the mission every time. All the more reason to push others away.

But enter Takeru, who gets accepted as a partner relatively easily. 

There are three keys to Yusaku’s favor. I call these the impression, the interview, and the resume.

1. The first impression a person makes on Yusaku.

The show establishes from the get-go how important first impressions are to Yusaku; within 5 minutes of meeting Naoki, Yusaku has analyzed him completely. The final conclusion is important: Yusaku deems that Naoki is not a bad guy. Considering Yusaku’s history and the dangerous life he leads, it’s highly likely Yusaku does this to everyone he meets in order to judge if they are a threat.

Aoi, Go, Ema, and Akira make some very poor first impressions:

Aoi, running away from Hanoi, establishing herself as someone that needs rescue. Then, both desperate for the spotlight, Aoi and Go challenge Yusaku and makes asses of themselves.

Imagine you’re a cyber-vigilante, just had a major victory over a dangerous enemy threatening the entire game, and at the end of the battle wrestler and an idol jump in you face screaming “Fight me!!!”. Unsurprisingly, Yusaku is not amused. Aoi then fails the IRL first impression as well, establishing that she’s not going to be useful as a source of info on SOL. And useful is absolutely what Yusaku is looking for.

Then Go and Aoi try to set themselves up as rivals for Playmaker. To Yusaku, Aoi and Go = antagonistic right from the start. Then Yusaku first meets Ema when she sets up a trap for him and gives him over to Akira to be tortured, which establishes her as untrustworthy and Akira as unreasonable. Ema and Akira = antagonistic.

There’s a pattern here. All the minor characters of season 1 established themselves as antagonistic to Yusaku from the get go, and while Yusaku easily forgives anyone not associated with the Hanoi, that doesn’t mean he forgets. From the start, these characters are already too unreliable and aggressive towards him to be considered trustworthy. Let’s say it takes a shit ton of rapport to be Yusaku’s friend, like maybe encouraging him for six months and saving his life and giving him the strength to survive. These guys all start with, like, negative rapport.

And these first impressions set their roles for season 2, as well. If you look where everyone stood early in season 1 and compare them to season 2, you find their allegiances are all nearly identical: Yusaku is on his own side, and the other’s are on SOL’s, either by hire or through their loyalty to Akira.

Now, contrast Takeru’s introduction scene to the other’s.

The first impression? Takeru nailed it. At a time when Yusaku really needed a hand, Takeru popped up and offered to take the heat off his back and allowed him to refocus on the mission at hand with zero catch. Not only was what Takeru did helpful, it was helpful in a way that is personally significant to Yusaku. Yusaku has shown in the past that the way to earn his gratitude is to not try and complete his mission for him (like Akira tried to), but to support him in a way that allows him to complete the mission easier (like Go, when he fought Revolver and revealed Mirror Force). That’s exactly what Takeru’s first impression comes down to, and leads us to the second key.

2. Don’t get in-between Yusaku and the mission, aka the interview

Once again, all the other characters failed this, really bad. They have continually interfered with, hampered, and questioned Yusaku’s mission. This is absolutely a guaranteed way to piss Yusaku off, and makes them unappealing as allies.

They also continue to be antagonistic, even on the occasions they are trying to help. After their less than stellar introduction, Go and Aoi start messing with the mission by challenging Yusaku and working with SOL and (unwillingly) Hanoi. Aoi is particularly insistent that she will “be the one to beat Playmaker!”; for Aoi, that’s just a matter of her pride and getting attention, but dueling is very different for Yusaku. For Yusaku, a loss would probably be completely debilitating and endanger his ability to complete his mission, his last resort in a lifetime of misery. This mindset doesn’t exactly endear Aoi to Yusaku. 

In fact, Yusaku has little to no reason to even like these people (except, maybe Go), let alone trust them. 

But the only one’s Yusaku hates are Hanoi. Yusaku wants to keep a “friendly” relationship with them all (which means they stay out of his way), but they all make that very difficult. Remember when the Tower of Hanoi becomes a thing, and how everyone thought, finally, they’re a team? But that team-up was a disaster: I have a whole post about how Aoi and Go hindered Yusaku. Not only were they unhelpful, but they got killed, and in doing so, justified Yusaku’s choice to work alone.

Yusaku blatantly pointed out that he didn’t want to involved others in their quest lest they get themselves killed. And that’s exactly what happened. That’s part of the reason why Aoi’s offense at being rejected is so ridiculous: if anything, their previous interactions have given Yusaku less reason to work with Aoi and Akira, not more.

Now, again consider Takeru.

Takeru’s IRL first impression is just as strong, compared to say, Aoi’s. He presents himself openly and almost professionally, focusing on the matter of the Ignis, the Incident, and the destruction of the Cyberse. Right from the start, he establishes that he’s an ally and then backs it up. Then, he and Flame give Yusaku plenty of information about himself and his motivations, leading to eventually asking for help. This is, like, the textbook technique for building rapport with someone you just met and want to work with you. 

And they respect that Yusaku has different priorities. After establishing that their goals coincide, Takeru’s focus on the mission no doubt appealed to Yusaku.

He shows he can prioritize and is invested in the task, which is something Yusaku clearly shows he admires about Kusanagi and therefore looks for in his partnerships.

Takeru’s not a burden, he never gets in the way, and he’s been on board from the moment they met. All of Yusaku’s current goals seemingly coincide with his. Takeru introduced himself as someone who wants to help, and can help. 

3. The history, aka the resume

To connect with Yusaku, you have to get over than goddamn abyss. That means you have to understand and know his pain, have felt the pain yourself.You have to be the one reaching out to Yusaku too, because Yusaku does not initiate connection. After all, we know it was not Yusaku that initiated his partnership with Kusanagi. If someone wants in, they have to both make the offer and back it up with real skills, such as Kusanagi. 

To be fair, Takeru might cheat the abyss, considering he’s also a victim. But when Yusaku and Takeru first make eye contact, we can hear a connection. Then Takeru mentions “confronting his life” which is something Yusaku understands. For Yusaku, the whole series has been about confronting his past and his destiny. 

These two can relate to each other in ways other’s don’t. Takeru clearly sees a lot of himself in Yusaku, saying “Like Playmaker, dueling was my life” and stuff like that. And when speaking with Blue Girl and Ghost Girl, Takeru feels comfortable speaking on behalf of Yusaku as well, without needing to confirm how he feels about SOL and the offer of help. These two feel like they can understand each other due to their shared trauma and suffering. 

And knowing Takeru’s pain, Yusaku can’t turn him away like the others. Takeru has just as much right to be involved as he does.

So Takeru was the one that suggested they work together, directly. He made the right impression, he brought the right resume, he aced the interview. Takeru got the “job” in a very logical way, just by building rapport with Yusaku and proving his dedication  and his value to the mission. For Yusaku, it really was an easy decision to make. But does he trust Takeru? I would argue that he doesn’t yet. 

Now, we’ve done Yusaku’s character and lack of friends in three parts. There’s just a few more questions.

Why did some of us think Yusaku would ever work with Go and Aoi and the others anyway, and why was that wrong?

Because, often in YuGiOh, dueling makes friends, and Vrains uses this expectation to mislead. It’s been a theme from as early as the first season, and has been pretty consistent since: Duel Monsters in a fun game, people enjoy dueling each other, they end up being friends. But Yusaku doesn’t like dueling, and he only wants to do it to fight Hanoi. And this is where Vrains plays with the audience’s expectations, starting with Go’s duel with Playmaker. Go forces Yusaku to duel him, something Yusaku is clearly not pleased about. But then Go goes out of his way to make the duel interesting for both the audience and his opponent, and earns a little of Yusaku’s respect, enough that Yusaku decides to see the duel through after all. From here we think the show will follow the same pattern as the others, because this seems like the start of Yusaku making friends and allies through dueling.

Outside of Vrains, the set up of the Duel Club further convinces the audience of this. We think, through his mission to investigate SOL through Akira and Aoi and how it takes him to the Duel Club, that this will be how Yusaku makes friends IRL. Aoi even comes to talk to him. 

And then Vrains reminds us that Yusaku doesn’t give a shit about any of that, and that friends is absolutely not the goal here: Yusaku is only focused on the mission. 

Is Yusaku lonely? Yes and no. It’s complicated. Yusaku doesn’t want friends, he wants a specific friend.

Ever since Ryoken crossed the abyss ten years ago, he’s been number 1 in Yusaku’s life. Yusaku has been dreaming of his voice for ten years, searching for a person he never even saw, and relies of his memory to get through his life. The special person is Yusaku’s answer to his problems of needing help, of being lonely, of having a friend. 

Nobody else in the series even competes. Considering the messy, nasty interactions Yusaku has had with them all, it’s no surprise not even the Tower of Hanoi could forge a friendship between them. And even if the other characters hadn’t failed the key steps, they probably still wouldn’t get far with Yusaku, because Yusaku has been reserving all that for one person.

Will Takeru be able to change that?